ahem

Mar 24, 2008

this one, I'm going to update.


Here I am. House to myself, dog barking in the background. Looking around, this is definately not the life I would have chosen, but it might have been for the better that I wound up here anyway. I'm sitting in my living room, its taupe walls are mocking me, simply because I have always hated the colour. The sofa's are brown, and much too large for the small size of the room. The draping blinds covering one of the five patio doors in the house are tangled from my pets playing with them, and the TV is sitting dusty and neglected in the corner. The mantle is probably my favourite part of the entire house, and as I sit here looking at it now, I believe that more than ever. It doesn't seem to quite fit in with the rest of the decor, and maybe that's why I like it so much. It is white on top, and sticks out about a foot from the wall, the top covered in candles, old school pictures of me and my siblings, and a bamboo plant I've always admired. The front is white granite lined with gold, and the gas fire burning inside looks almost fake. I can sit and stare at it forever. If I don't get distracted by the dozens of plants. My house used to be completely plant free, mostly because of my mother's black thumb. Every plant we had died, and so she would go out and buy another to replace it, up to about two years ago. Then she finally accepted her fate to live in a plantless home (much to mine and my sister's relief, it is hard throwing out plants constantly, they take up way too much room in the garbage cans). This was up until a few months ago when my aunt decided to up and move to Florida with her boyfriend for a while. I don't know how long. But we volunteered to take only half of the plants she had in her house, and now our place is a jungle. My aunt really liked plants, except unlike my mother, she had a knack for keeping them alive... and huge. So now scattered throughout our home are dozens upon dozens of plants, shockingly still green and alive, albeit a little sad looking.
Our house has always been too small for me. We moved here almost three years ago from a two story home, which I loved. We lived there as long as I could remember, and even though I complained about it, I knew I didn't want to live anywhere else. Until my dad left when I had just entered grade six. We stayed until I just finished grade eight, and my mom decided she couldn't take the memories, so we up and left to this... this place. I hate this house, and even though I should be used to it by now, I'm not. It's a townhouse, which is quite a change for me. I constantly have to remember to be quiet so the neighbours won't hear me, and for me, that isn't a hard task. I'm a very loud person, as you are probably going to find out. My room is a dark purple, and I had great plans for it, so that I could end up maybe liking this place. I was going to accent it green and put a bunch of abstract art on the walls. I ended up with one abstract painting and a 'We can do it!' poster from Micheal's, and that's about it. Now I have new plans, but that's not important.
My life in this place has changed me dramatically. At the time, I felt like moving was the worst possible thing in my life, ever, and I hated my mother desperately because of it. I became a little depressed, and it took me forever to make any friends at all, though I really only used them so I didn't have to sit alone at lunch. I went back to my old town every long weekend and that was really the only time I was happy. A year later, I started growing a bit closer with my friends, started hanging out with them a bit, and this year I have been seeing them on a regular basis, dated a few guys even if it was only for a short period of time, and tonight I'm having my second party in two weeks. Small parties, mind you, but parties nonetheless, and with people I am excited to say I can call my best friends. Well, two of them. The other two I can say are normal friends.
That's right, I'm having a party with five people, myself included. And I'm excited for it. Oh, but my sister might show up with a friend! That's exciting too. Since moving, me and my sister have become closer than I think either of us ever imagined. I think of her more of a friend than a sibling. We were all the other one had for the first long time of us living here, and that kind of instantly shoves people together. I have another sibling, blood related anyways, a brother. He lives back in my old town, he moved out when we moved here, and we aren't as close. Never have been, and I can't imagine we will get that instant bond me and my sister had.
Oh, and just to clarify, my name is Ariel, I am sixteen and in grade eleven. My sister is Briana, she graduated last year, and lives with me and my mom. My brother is Nick, and he graduated almost three years ago, and lives with his girlfriend Alecia.
I have more siblings. Three more in fact, but they are step siblings. My dad left when I was eleven (which was especially traumatizing because I was a huge daddy's girl, if only I could accurately express what a suckup I was) and he almost instantly got engaged to the women he left for. Kim. Now, at first I was apprehensive about Kim, after all, she stole my father away, and her previous husband had been married before she got to him as well. But as time went on and I came to know her better, I know appreciate the big part of my life she has become, and accept her as part of the family, as have my siblings. But she complicates matters simply because she has three children also, Jen, Scott, and Cody. Jen is my sister's age, 19, and their birthdays are a little under a months apart. She lives with my dad and Kim although she moved out once before, but when she spent so little time at her apartment she decided it wasn't worth it and moved back home. She goes to college, unlike Briana, who is taking time off. Cody is my brother's age, 20, well, Nick is 19 but turns 20 pretty quick, and, well.. He's a little strange. If you need something, he knows the people to get it done. But those people likely come from a dark alley he accidentally stumbled into one night. Scott is the oldest, and even after all these years I don't know much about him. He's 24, and has only lived at home one summer I spent with my dad, and I only saw him on the rare day. He's very secluded, and I think he prefers it that way. He is a good guy, although from the way he talks you would never know it.
Now having five siblings in itself isn't too complicated, except when you think about Nick and Briana. They are related to me through blood, but only half. Before my mom was with my dad, she was with this man named Randy, I know next to nothing about him, my mom doesn't like to talk about him. She had my brother, and then two years later my sister. Shortly after that she met my dad, and two years later had me. So I have two half siblings who are full siblings, and three step siblings. It's fun times, our family dinners are huge.
Lets get into my friends. Starting off with the ones coming tonight, because I will likely talk about them a lot. First off is Peach. Her name is actually Michelle, but I call her Peach and it's caught on around the school pretty quick, and now that is just an accepted name for her. She is one of my best friends, and I tell her things I can't tell my other friends. We have an understanding for what the other one is feeling better than I have ever had with any friend before. We instantly know if something is bothering the other one, even though the only reason we would have to guess is if there were other people there, because we just tell eachother everything right away anyways. She is tall and has long brown hair, and I think she is exceptionally pretty. Her boyfriend, Sam, is also coming tonight, and I don't know him as well. He is 14 though, two years younger than me and Peach, and he's a little strange. All I really know about him is that he can make some strange facial expressions, and has done some strange shit in his life, a lot weirder than I ever hope to accomplish in my lifetime. Robbie is Sam's friend through another friend, but I won't get into that, and I think he's great. He's a year younger than me, but you would never know it, and he is absolutely hilarious. I think what draws me to him is our similar sense of humour. Lastly of my friends is Eric. Eric is... hard to describe. He is one of my best guy friends and has been for so long, but... I have a bit of a deeper affection for him, and have for quite sometime. He says he feels the same way, but I don't know how long he's felt this way, or if he even really means it for that matter.
I have another best friend aside from Peach, and her name is Nadia. Nadia is gorgeous, and adorable, and I love her to bits. I can't exactly tell her the things I tell to Peach, out loud anyways, but she always seems to know anyways. When we plan our futures we always find a way to include the other, and have made more travel plans that have fallen through than I ever thought possible. She is moving to Montreal in the summer, and we currently live in BC, and I am devistated. She is graduating this year, she's a year older than I am, and her boyfriend Cody is going with her all the way across the country. I always thought that would be us one day, but I guess I'm happy for her.
Now, before I get in any farther, I guess I will tell you about myself so you can better understand as this story goes on. I am your average teenaged girl, I suppose. I have medium length blonde hair and brown eyes. I am shortish, but wish I was shorter. A bit on the chunky side, but not fat, or as fat as I used to be, and I am excessively strange. I act, sing, and draw, though I never reveal these talents openly for fear of other's judging me. I have a huge fear of rejection and abandonment and find it hard to open up to people, and cry at the very thought of telling someone I have a crush on them. I've been reading novels since I was seven, and I'm anything but stupid, but applying myself in school doesn't come easily to me, seeing as I'm distracted by anything, and I'm one of those people who has more doodles in their notebook than actual work. A strange quirk about me is that I'm really logical, but I read Tarot cards and have a pendulum. I do both accurately, and believe wholeheartedly in them. I read my horoscope daily, that's more for kicks, but consult my calandar that tells me where the moon is going to be and often base my day on it. I have had multiple paranormal experiences in my life, so I think it would be foolish for me not to believe in ghosts, and in fact, my current house is haunted without a doubt, and I have even convinced my sister of this, and my mother who is totally against any ghost stories what so ever.
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness until I was six, and so I feel I have a right to make fun of them more than anyone else. I don't get offended if other people do, and often join in the banter. We never did the door to door thing, and were actually kicked out of the Hall because of our unsteady attendance and poor behavior. My mom's parents are still actively in it, and will be until the day they die. My aunt and uncle also are, but the aunt to went to Florida is not. It's very complicated. My dad never was a Witness until he met my mom, and his whole family is unpractising Catholic. I personally am an agnostic athiest, leaning toward the athiest side, and that is fine by me, seeing as if there was a Heaven or Hell, I'd just want to come back as a spirit anyways.