Because I Loved You (a Banjo Exorcism)

May 20, 2008

"Because we had to...
Because I loved you...
Because the damned alcohol...
Because what ever at all"
-Talk On Indolence

The Avett Brothers are one of those bands that I just happened to stumble upon, pause for a second, look a little further and be pleasantly pleased. Their last release Emotionalism showed, well, amazing emotional depth. It was chocked full of all those juicy feelings that we experience in love and life: sadness, paranoia, euphoric happiness, pain, lust, desperation, despair, regret. It was all put out there, packaged pretty and able to be exposed one track at a time. I knew that I was going to be in trouble should I ever see them live.

Then the Southgate House tour date pounced on me before I was ready. The show was sold out a week and a half before the show. SOLD OUT? How did so many people know about them? I went to their message board, craigslist, citybeat's backbeat, all to post my desire to get two tickets. There were several desperate people pleading to find tickets everywhere I looked. I'd never had luck getting tickets outside of this venue, how would I fight off all these other crazy Avett Brothers fans? A man called Cameron called to get rid of his two tickets while I was at work. One hour later I returned his call: they were already gone. "We'll just go to the venue I guess," Brad confirms. So, like the good little indie devotees we are, we went.

There's nothing else really to do other than stand outside for a long time, watch as people come and people pass us and the giant pack of Avett-loonies that are all begging for tickets. Seems many people travel around behind them, seeing multiple shows around the nation. They've got a fan base that might be small but it's mighty. Eventually some people get lucky and find a few spare tickets while outside. We aren't so lucky, we continue to stand or sit; we contemplate giving up and hitting up some Indian food, I think that I might roll down the hill. Eventually we find out that if we just walk up to the table and ask for two tickets we can get them, even if there are signs posted all over "AVETT BROTHERS TONIGHT: SOLD OUT!". Nervously, we walk up to the will-call table and ask for tickets. The lady looks us over, asks "Just the two of you?" We nod. We get tickets. We look at each other in amazement. We are inside.

The venue appears to hardly be sold out. We find a good spot and we wait. It gets more and more crowded, finally the opener comes on, several songs later leave the stage. The place is packed, I'm immediately happy we didn't leave to get food. The lights dim, then the boys take the stage. The opening song is one I know, called All My Mistakes. I am floored. The crowd faithfully sings, stomps, claps along to the beauty that is this experience. The entire evening bounces, the music varies between gangly and punk. The men on stage scream, sweat, beat their instruments till strings fly...then they soften, their edges exposed and sweet lyrics slow to be accompanied by an acoustic guitar. Like a musical revival I feel my soul stir and calm at all the right times. It was overwhelming and peaceful at the same time. I closed my eyes during Living of Love. When the entire room sang "Say love, say for me love..." over and over again, the word love smacked into me like the waves crashing on the rocks. At one point I thought I'd fall over from sheer speaker force. It was a mighty powerful feeling, being surrounded by that much amore and seeing all the lovers cling to each other laughing & crying. And here I was in the mix of it all, soaking it up, exactly where I was needed.

The encore was short but sweet. They played this song that the lyrics are bellow, very sincerely. I got a wee bit choked up, but in that good way. I have hope again and I'm coping with how things are now. I'm looking forward to figuring it all out. I'm learning how to love again. These are good things I've decided, along with the sand to come...

If It's the Beaches
Don't say it's over
Cause that's the worst news I could hear I swear that I will
Do my best to be here just the way you like it
Even though its hard to hide
Push my feelings all aside
I will rearrange my plans and change for you

If I could go back
That's the first thing I would do I swear that I would
Do my best to follow through
Come up with a master plan
A homerun hit, a winning stand
A guarantee and not a promise
That I'll never let your love slip from my hands

If it's the beaches
If it's the beaches' sands you want
Then you will have them
If it's the mountains' bending rivers
Then you will have them
If it's the wish to run away
Then I will grant it
Take whatever what you think of
While I go gas up the truck
Pack the old love letters up
We will read them when we forget why we left here...