Numb

My curse is that my parents have one of most successful relationships on the planet. I have never seen them argue past the age of 5. They make love seem so easy. So every relationship I am in I feel like failure when it doesn’t work. Why can’t I make it work when they seem so happy all the time? I am 27 now and can’t get over my first love. I am still hung up on girl that said no when I professed my love to her and is now married to some other guy. Secondly, I keep fucking up this girl’s life who actually loves me more than anyone I ever had love me before. I just don’t know what to do. I keep becoming this person that I hate I keep losing more of things my father tried illustrate on what is to be man, he set bar is set so high I don’t think I ever reach it. I am such this fucking idiot who can’t see past feeling sorry himself to realize how happy I could be. I recently realized what role in movies I am. I am the guy that the family loves and is trying to get their daughter to marry. However, the entire audience knows the other guy is better suited for the leading lady. If I could have one thing right now it would be to be numb to everything forever. I just want to be numb… Numb… NUMB