You know, I think you're just trying to find yourself. I know what it's like getting made fun of, and not fitting in. I've never fit in good enough with the kids that were likable, so when I was little I decided that I would find my own friends and I brought the shy, quiet kids into a life of happiness that they had never really experienced before hand. I also know what it's like being the center of problems in a family. I used to be in a similar situation as you, but it involved the relationship with my mom and I. To cut it short, we really just didn't get along, and because of minor indifferences and my own stupidity, I let it almost split apart the family. It usually takes something far worse than the situation that you're in for you to realize that your life is minuscule in comparison to some people's problems. For me, it took God opening up my eyes to just how good things really were. You can turn around your life by focusing on the positive things about it, and looking at the sides of things that most overlook. When my family was robbed, everything in our house that was of value was taken - our house was barren. Most would be desolate, but miraculously our insurance covered everything and MORE and everything we had lost was replaced! That's just an example of how great God has been for our family.