"Puppy Love"

Dec 23, 2007

So a friend posed the question to me today: How do you know when you are past the puppy love stage?

I claim by no means that I am a relationship expert because I am FAR from it... but I do have experience in a few long term relationships... I thought about it for a hot second and then came to the most obvious answer...

Many people would probably say that it's when you know you love somebody but youve moved beyond the "attached at the hip" point, and on to the "comfort" stage.

I think it's much more complex then that. Society has always set relationships (not to be confused with friendships) as a cornerstone when in reality, we as individuals should be the cornerstone. We live to please ourselves and in turn hope that it will please others...

So often, people drown themselves in the beginning of a relationship to the point that they feel they need their partner in their life. When their partner leaves for the day/night/week/whatever, they feel lost, or alone... and want nothing more than for them to come back...

Although it's perfectly natural to feel this way, I believe the important disctinction between puppy-love and true love is the migration from needing a person in your life, to wanting a person in your life.

Nobody should need anyone to be happy. Tried and true, we all can agree that you can't make somebody else happy, if you are not happy yourself. The goal is to be completely happy with yourself... To be able to hold that characteristic day-in/day-out.

Time spent with a loving partner should be equally as important as time spent with yourselves. They say that marraige is about building and learning. Unfortunately, marraiges come and go, but you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. I think it's equally important to know yourself and build and learn upon the relationship you have with yourself...

........

Slow down and breathe a little bit. Enjoy life for what it is... Find those things that make yourself happy without dependence on others... Find those things that make you happy with dependence on others...

Pay attention to the present time. Because today is tomorrow's past, and the past is what builds your future.