Annoying Little Kids

Jul 15, 2008

Anybody that has ever golfed before has probably encountered some annoying fucking little kids that try to fuck up your game. Also anybody that is a serious golfer must know that this is seriously fucking annoying. Well me and my cousin from Florida were golfing at my local course this weekend, just trying to have a good time on a Sunday afternoon when we encountered some of these little fuckers. It all started on the 8th hole and two six packs later. They came out of the bushes silent as death. I was just about to drive the ball home when someone screams "PENIS." It caught me off guard, so instead of driving the ball home, I drive a huge fucking hole into the green. Being the courteous golfer that I am, I quickly patch up the hole. I look around for the son-of-a-bitch that screamed but the person was no where in sight. I think "fuck them, I'll just ignore it." So we finish the hole and move on to number 9. I step up to swing when someone hits me with a fucking rock. Seriously a rock, who the fuck does that anyway? But before they could escape I got a glimpse of them. It looked to about 2 boys, about 12 or 13. Now I was really pissed, not only were they two fucking little kids, but they had those goddamn wheely shoes on. I hate those things. So I slam down another beer and ignore it again. Then I remember that I had my paintball gun in my golf bag. Don't ask me why it was in there I cant even remember. So I set my gun on full auto, and tell my cousin to go first on the next whole. While he stepped onto the green I saw them come out of the bushes on the right. Before they could even yell or throw anything, I hit one right in the face with 20-30 paint balls, and as the other was running I nailed him in the ass a good number of times. Me and my cousin were laughing our asses off for about 10 minutes after that. But as we were about to move on to the next hole, a fucking cop car pulls up. The pigs pull up next to our cart and ask us what happened, I told him. Then the dick decides to bring me in for assult with a deadly weapon. WHAT THE FUCK???? IT WAS A PAINTBALL GUN!!! He also decides to pull my cousin for aiding and abbeting. AWESOME, I love cops that abuse their power. But wait, it gets better the ass munch decides to give us a breathalizer test, and we also get undergae drinking. Amazing. So yes Hank, fuck you, I did go to jail like you predicted, but Bubba did not take my anal virginity. So ha. We were in the holding cell for about 3 hours when my dad came and bailed me out for 300 dollars. They decided to let us go with a warning. Fucking pigs. So now I am grounded.