Just what's going on.

Apr 08, 2008

For whatever reason, my work-life has made me less participatory in q-life. I apologize. I really do love it here. I think my creative energy has been low.

It's hard to get through the days at times. I love it, but am done with a lot of the preliminary stuff, so my job is now to get people to give me money so I can keep the museum going.

Eventually I know programs and education will bring in money. I just wish that I could focus on those instead while I get to know the city. I'd love to spend the summer doing outreach for kids groups around Memphis helping to get them excited about history, and not worrying about rent and bills. For now it's membership, finding potential donors, grant writing, creating an exhibit that I don't have money to produce.

And it's hard, because my heart is in so many other places. It seems like my summer in Oregon is haunting me. Everywhere I turn I'm reminded of this wonderful place that I loved every second in. I'm still at a bit of a loss as to how to find my niche here.

The all of it is that I feel drained pretty much all the time. I am stressed about the museum, but don't know exactly what to do to make things better. And I'm not totally inspired by it. It's a cool place, don't get me wrong- I just feel like my passion isn't up to par.

I'm tired of bitching about it.

I love walking by the river, breakfast paninis at Miss Cordelia's, having a good job, my friends even if I don't get to see them as often as I like, creativity, the book store, my dog, swimming, and macaroni and cheese. That's the short list- but it does the job of making me feel better.