A (short) essay on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

May 11, 2008

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights is, by all means, a rather fancy piece of paper. Toilet paper, actually, some might go on to say. Although wonderfully listing an amazing assortment of Judeo-Christian beliefs and views on natural human rights, and generally supporting the (completely biased) “unbiased” views on races, religion, and sex; it fails critically in quite a few regards, the following being the most prominent: it’s an advisory guideline. Advisory. Guideline.

“Advisory,” as according to an online dictionary, has its meaning as “of, giving, or containing advice.” ‘Of, giving, or containing advice’ it says. In other, more common words, this would come to mean “Oh! You should do what I say! But you really don’t have to I guess. I mean, it’d be cool if you do, but it’s kind of cool if you don’t too or whatever. Whatever makes you feel good. Maybe try just a little bit? Please? Wait, where are you going?” Or, simply, the Universal Declaration of Human rights is, by all means, a suggestion. Sure, it’s a good suggestion. A great suggestion! And a big suggestion. But, just like any other suggestion; it’s a suggestion. And suggestions, as according to the same online dictionary are: “Something suggested.” And something suggested would be: “To offer for consideration or action; propose.” And a ‘propose’ is: “to offer or suggest (a matter, subject, case, etc.) for consideration, acceptance, or action.” Consideration. Consideration. You see, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is merely a suggestion. A suggestion to be taken into consideration, and thrown out by any decent ruler who realizes that human rights are a direct interference with their divine mandate. And this is where the Universal Declaration of Human Rights fails. It simply cannot – no, will not – rise above that of a mere suggestion in a sea of political bullshit.

But where am I going with this, you ask? Well, this is where the American Bill of Rights steps in. If the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is just a suggestion (which it is), then the American Bill of Rights is a “kind of sort of suggestion, but maybe we should follow this guys? I mean, come on, people might get kind of pissed but maybe not” law (which it is). It is the wishy-washy law of the land, summoning patriotism and justice wherever it passes. As a piece of paper, it is a wondrously jolly stretch of parchment made from raw American, like Baseball and Television, and the blood of all things Anti-American, like communism and sodomy, but the real strength in the American Bill of Rights is the intoxicating power it insidiously injects into every good American boy or girl at birth. This is the power of freedom. This is the power of a voice, and a set of rights undeniable by anyone (George W. Bush excluded), unshakable by even the Supreme Court (maybe). For this is the American Bill of Rights. Stronger than Schwarzenegger, more dastardly than Skeletor; it slays its enemies with a giant golden hammer that would put Thor to shame. To shame.

Which brings me to my thesis. My reason. The reason. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights is a brilliant idea, and a wonderful suggestion; but that’s all it is. Out of anything that could be added to it, it would have to be momentum; strength. As it stands it is a word with a voice, but still without a fist. And without this fist – without the strength to carry out its voice – it will forever be scoffed at as just another idea, unworthy of being implemented due to the ease of Tyranny.

This was originally written as a homework assignment for my Global Studies class last year. The intent was merely to write something for a grade.