qLife : Health : Why is it okay to hate thin people?

trenchael: May 07, 2008 - 10:16 AM PST

As a swimmer for 12 years, a swim instructor and competitive swimming coach a side note: floating has nothing to do with being able to swim.

xtine2thextreme: May 07, 2008 - 12:29 AM PST i'm sorry you faced so much ridicule for this post. my whole life i was really skinny. I was always training for swimming year round. which kept me in really good shape. But i also have what lots of weight loss books call a 'skinny mindset' basically means that food is not the most important thing on my mind and i forget to eat quite often.

And whenever i see my aunts they attack me thinking i have an eating disorder because i am thin and don't eat much and tend to go to the bathroom shortly after finishing eating. Not to throw up, for as long as i can remember once i finished eating i'd go to the bathroom.

All i can say is to realize how lucky you are for not having to battle with food and your weight. As irrating as it is its better than being 5'3 and 200lbs.

dex2988: April 29, 2008 - 11:25 AM PST

Kyle, I graduated high school at 5'10" 140 lbs. By the time I was 26, I was 6'0" 200lbs. There's hope for you. It DID suck back then because I didn't think I'd ever be able to put on weight. Age, weight training and diet can help you get there later on.

longin4purpose: April 29, 2008 - 11:21 AM PST I dont really think its fair to "hate" skinny ppl. I've been skinny all my life and its nearly impossible for me to gain weight. B/c of this I can't swim (b/c I can't float), I get made fun of all the time (oh you're anoerexic), I'm constantly cold, and contact sports are hard to play when you're jostled around by someone 75+ lbs more than you.
I've been between 115-130 lbs for the last three years and I can tell you its no picnic.

BunnyBabyLove: April 29, 2008 - 08:59 AM PST I eat health conscious and workout daily to maintain my figure. I like being active doing sports and dance classes. It seems to piss everyone off if you want to stay in shape. I get run over alot with shopping carts by big girls in grocery stores, and everyone wants me to eat. I wish there wasn't so many haters...BBL

faeriel: April 29, 2008 - 07:41 AM PST

I can completely relate to the above, especially the bold. I am a little over 5'1" and i dunno, 110ish? (I haven't checked in a while). I have noticed that as I get older it is easier for me to gain weight. Especially during the winter when there are less activities to do outside with out freezing my face off. If I mention that I have gained weight to anyone besides maybe my sister (who is smaller than me) I get looked at like I am complaining about being fat when I so obviously am not. I can complain about gaining weight all I f ing want. My mother was thin and small when she was my age too and then her metabolism slowed and she gained a bunch of weight to an unhealthy level. I have those genes and her shape and I do not want to end up like her. She is having such a hard time getting down to a healthy happy weight for herself and excuse me if I don't want to do the same.

The word skinny is gross. Think about the word for a minute. ..SKIN-NY.. yuck, no thanks. I don't want to be called that. I personally wouldn't mind if people just kept their opinions to themselves. If I want one I will ask. I understand that overweight people might think thats silly and would love to be called that one day..... but there are better words for sure. I don't want to be called fat either. Fat is also a gross word.

Melissa: April 24, 2008 - 02:37 PM PST I just saw this 2 unhealthy looking rails walking down the street.

Not the oh, she's so skinny type.

The oh, wow, she's trying to be too skinny...not something i'd be jealous of.


I think there is definitely a noticeable difference from those who are naturally skinny, and those that will do anything to be that skinny.

greeneyeliner: April 24, 2008 - 02:34 PM PST

Question, do you think you'd feel insulted if someone said "Wow you're in shape!"? Seems like a nicer way of saying that as long as they really ARE trying to compliment you. The thing with the word "skinny" is that it means just that. It doesn't mean "eating disorder" or "slut" or "unhealthy" and is just a rather unclever observation, like someone coming up to me and being like "you've got brown hair." It's weird how it's like skinny has become the new fat! I've had a lifetime's worth of name calling and insults just in my elementary through high school years but after that, it's sorta stopped. Maybe people just mature when they get older? But most women will always want to be thinner which explains their condescending remarks to you. Next time someone says that to you, just look at them blankly and say "Yep, that's true." Because obviously if someone came up to me and said "you're fat" it would really bother me mainly because it's like what sort of reaction do you want out of me? "Seriously?!?! Wow, I never realized that but thanks so much for pointing that out to me!" Idiots.
Kudos by the way on a VERY interesting topic!

flowrktty: April 24, 2008 - 12:13 PM PST it is so interesting because in one of my psych classes we are studying eating disorders and weight and all that goes along with it and some of the class discussions we have get downright nasty. everyone is super sensitive about how and what to say regarding people who are overweight, obese or "average" but nobody shows any courtesy regarding thin people.

the words "skinny anorexic twigs" were uttered in class today to refer to models who weigh more than i do. at that point i couldnt participate in the discussion anymore because i didnt feel the need to defend my own body against these closed minded people. perhaps next class i will join back in but i really dont feel the need to argue about why i look the way i look. from what i did say today it just got people more resentful of us "twigs"

raygunray: April 24, 2008 - 10:55 AM PST I'm of that minority of men who prefer "curvy" women. Some would say I'm a chubby chaser but if you consider woman who wears a 8-12 dress size, then a majority of woman are fat. Some women are built thin or thick, but that doesn't mean they're not beautiful.

A self-conscous thin woman doesn't do much for me. I like women's bodies with a little character and I have know many women who have no idea how gorgeous they are (um..Sixy, and all you other ladies in the audience, for example.)

Also, I've noticed that beauty is moslty good presentation. I watched "What not to Wear" and how the right hairstyle and clothing transforms people.

sixysummat: April 24, 2008 - 10:31 AM PST I don't hate thin people, but I admit to the jealousy. If people hated skinny folk, there would never have been the saying, "One can never be too rich or too thin". What some hear as hatred is jealousy. I would give anything to be very thin, I admit that. I have always felt that people, especially men, like you better when you are thin.

But it is improper to comment on anyone's body, good or bad, especially in a professional setting. And unless you want to expose yourself or an entity that you represent to legal action, I would keep my thoughts about other people's looks to myself.

greeneyeliner: April 24, 2008 - 08:25 AM PST I guess the main reason why it may seem that people hate skinny women is because for most women that is unattainable and it makes them feel bad. I've struggled with my weight for a LONG time and know that I need to change it. I generally can't stand ANYONE who complains about their weight whether it's they're too skinny or they're too fat because that's something that ANYONE can change. I can't deny feeling bitter towards skinny people but it's only because it's just a reminder that I really need to lose weight. It's hard when you are watching tv and every girl is stick thin and if there IS a large woman in a tv show or a movie, she's either someone generally not viewed as sexy and mainly just there for a laugh OR it's like wow you're such a strong woman to be bigger and also be in the media! They can't just be normal, you know? That may be confusing but I think it makes sense. No matter what though, it's not right for people to hate anyone for being skinny or fat. I think if the media had a better variety of sizes of women that people may not feel the same way about fat or skinny women.

quirkygeekgirl: April 05, 2008 - 10:41 AM PST I totally understand how you feel. 5'2" and 98 lbs and I have had many similar experiences.

I have been accused of eating disorders, and I hate being called skinny. Especially in a high pitched tone that doesn't denote a complement.
A complement might be someone calling me thin. Thin is better than skinny any day. To me it is derogatory to be called skinny, its makes me feel like I look sickly. Slender, thin or fit are my preferred terms. I also feel like I have to watch my words - I'm not allowed to have a "fat" day, everyone has a day where they feel fat but I'm not allowed to use that term because I am not fat. So I have to say I feel flabby or bloated but I can't utter the words fat or people think I have a disorder.

I don't know why people have this predispositions against the skinny bitch and assume I am one. I think that it has something to do with bring you down to their level, and thinking I might be better than them in some way. Its classic passive aggressive behavior and if its not directed at thin people it would be something else.

justfeelngtired: April 05, 2008 - 04:35 AM PST
i've never known anyone to hate someone because of their weight. maybe that's my good fortune, especially for being an overweight girl my whole life. i've never known someone to outwardly comment on my weight, until recently when people have started to say "oooh, you're losing weight, you look good!"

the truth of the matter is, skinny means beautiful in these times. and even if someone has the lack-of-tact to say something derogatory to you, that's their own problem, and on the whole, society doesn't back them up. it most likely comes from their own personal insecurities, and wanting to make you feel bad because they feel bad about themselves.

i don't think it's fair to overgeneralize and say that everyone thinks it's "ok" to hate skinny people. just like it's not ok for people to overgeneralize and think you're unhealthy because you're thin. people hate themselves, and take it out on others. no matter their pant size.

jacintos: April 05, 2008 - 03:48 AM PST I don't hate thin people but I have a general disdain for the following:

-Thin people that try to tell me I need to lose weight to fit in some stereotypical ideal they have about what's beautiful
-Thin people that think they're just damn AWESOME because they're skinny
-Thin people that complain about being fat...I think that one bugs me the most. I just wanna shake them and be like GET A GRIP!

But I don't go around spewing hate (even though I think Mo'Nique's comedy about skinny women is pretty funny sometimes). As long as you're a cool person, it's all good.

flowrktty: April 04, 2008 - 11:00 PM PST i would say to spend some time in l.a. but the attitude is pretty prevalent among united states americans.

i try not to associate myself with hateful people but i personally know quite a few people (and know of more) who dont like "skinny b**ches" aka thin women.

i have browsed a couple other threads and writings here on ql and there were quite a few people who were hateful towards "skinny anorexic sluts" as one gal put it and also another opinion about thin people being genetic mutants. there was a lot more too but nothing i want to repeat.

trenchael: April 04, 2008 - 10:43 PM PST

Ok. I don't know a single person who hates all thin people because they are thin.

flowrktty: April 04, 2008 - 10:37 PM PST not hating a thin person, but thin people in general.

i am not making this about me or any other one specific person. i used my experiences as an example.

i am referring to and trying to understand the general attitude that its okay for thin people to be hated or looked down upon simply for their weight and size, disregarding all other aspects of their lives.

trenchael: April 04, 2008 - 10:25 PM PST

agreed.

My wife is small. One of my sister-in-laws is very small. Neither one of them feel ridiculed, or hatred towards them for being so.

trenchael: April 04, 2008 - 10:22 PM PST

I don't know a single person that "hates" another person because they are skinny.

flowrktty: April 04, 2008 - 10:17 PM PST i really dont want to go too far off topic, sooo:

Why is it okay to hate thin people?

Please help me understand why it is all okay for this madness that exists.

It is not acceptable to speak negatively towards overweight people but it is trendy and fine to hate thin people.

Free2BeMe: April 04, 2008 - 10:09 PM PST

I think that people tend to say "you are so skinny" more in a fascination than an insult. Especially in America where the average woman is 5 6 and a size 14. Most people can tell if the person is just built small or if they are anorexic or something of the sort. I have a couple friends that are very thing but you can tell its just normal. They eat more than I do and I am overweight. Its a lot easier to say "your skinny" than it is "your fat". I think people take it more personally when they say "you are so fat" because usually if you are overweight, its your fault compared to the naturally skinny people. So yes some people will take the your so skinny part in a bad way but i most certainly think it is not half as insulting as you are so fat.

trenchael: April 04, 2008 - 09:55 PM PST

You think it's the same thing too?

Let ask 2 questions then -

Out of 10 fat people, how many do you think would want to hear "You are so skinny"?

Out of 10 skinny people how many do you think want to hear "You are so fat"?

soozeecute: April 04, 2008 - 09:23 PM PST

I totally understand where you're coming from in terms of how people say "you are so skinny." Women especially have a way of judging each other on really subjective things (like weight) and giving back-handed compliments and/or hidden insults. I think the best thing you can do is let people know how it makes you feel when they comment on your weight because you are aboslutely right, it is just as bad as saying "you are so fat." Any comment about appearance, especially weight, can have an unhealthy impact on who you say it to.

flowrktty: April 04, 2008 - 09:15 PM PST i usually say "thank you" too but thats mostly to avoid conflict. its hard to take it as a compliment when people say it with a scowl on their face and roll their eyes when i say thanks. or follow it up with a "you need to eat something" and when i say "i do" i get the snicker as they walk away.

i cant imagine how i can perceive that as a good thing.

i deal with this almost everyday at work. even my coworkers couldn't believe it first but that really is the way it is.

trenchael: April 04, 2008 - 09:05 PM PST

Then the issue lies in your perception. Peolple tell my wife that she's "so skinny" or that she's "so small," and 9 times out of 10 she thanks them. Most people are not saying it to be mean. Whether you believe me or not, it's 100% true.