Requited love

Jul 17, 2008

My best friend was holding me close to him after picking me up and goofing off. He cradled me and said you are like a little kid, a brat kid. Hey I said, "I'm not a kid, but I like listening to your heart, does it bother you? No, he replied, I expect it from you." I expect it from you! What do you mean you expect it from me! I'm only this way when I'm with you. I hate myself for caring about you so much, you're the only one I've felt this way about. If you ask me not to go, I wouldn't go! All I want is a chance, but I'm so afraid to ask for that, to even hope. So I'll dream, I'll daydream, but I have no way to know what you think. You speak in riddles and rhymes. You are never serious when you need to be. You're like a kindergartner picking on the girl if likes. You push me and tease me, call me funny names and tackle me. You tickle me and comfort me, spend time with me and hold my hand. You say when I'm gone that it will be hard to replace me...but does that mean you'll miss me? I'm so frustrated at my myself, at you....at you because I love everything about you. your life, your faith, your family, your jokes and every vice. I hate that every relationship I've had has failed because I love you. I hate that I love you, I hate that I can't tell you, i hate this. All I want to have is a piece of the future to hope for...but I'm too scared to ask. I told you months ago I wouldn't ask for anything else and I haven't! I won't. I just want to enjoy the time we have before I'm gone. I just want these memories f the only man whose been in the heart for the past two years. I just want to remember you and be close like we are while I can. But its hard to do. "By the time I wanted to say this and ran out of my apartment to tell him it was already to late, I saw his taillights as he drove off. I want back in and cried, because I can't make anyone, him or myself understand.