Female • 34 • Hayward , CA • United States
Status... Single
Orientation... Straight
I'm into... Writing Music Photography Acting
I'm working on... Learning to be who I really am no matter what other people say about it.
interests.
Music
- ,I have really eclectic taste when it comes to music. There really are few things that I don't like or won't listen to. I love to sing. Old stuff,new stuff really doesn't matter.,
Cooking
- ,I LOVE to cook! I generally don't use recipes more than once. After that,I improvise,adjust,make the dish my own. The recipe becomes more of a suggestion than a how-to. My friends don't seem to mind my cooking...and I haven't killed any of them yet.,
about me.
latest ugq upload.
I'm 30 something. What do I know?
Mar 29, 2008
You expect to have alot of the answers to life's questions by the time you are in your 30's. Well, this 30-something-year-old doesn't. In the past week I have had pointed out to me that it's not so much that I don't have the answers to my life questions, but that for the most part I have ignored those answers because that's not who I am "supposed to be" according to the definitions given me by my family and society as a whole.
I have taken tests, surveys, and filled out forms all week and have discovered that I am the single flower that grows in the sidewalk I call my family. I am surrounded by accountants and computer geeks telling me that I am irresponsible, flighty, childish. They have told me that I belong in this box called office employment. In this week I have discovered that I have known who I am all along and that I have been allowing others to color my judgment of who I am only to fail at filling the shoes they have laid out for me. I am a social butterfly, I am a caregiver, I am an idealist and a romantic, I am an artist who sees the total composition, not always the little details first. I see beauty and complimentary elements, not absolutes.
I am beginning to see myself the way my friends have seen me forever and am finally ok knowing that my world needs to adapt to better fit me as much as I adapt to fit in my world. Otherwise, it isn't compromise, it's selling out. Where's the beauty in that?
03/29/08 10:56 PST
42 Views.
0 Comments.
My parents divorced when I was 5, but I have managed to stay married, mostly happy, for over 35 years (after my first wife left me). Now my kids are in their 30's and feel the same as you. Is it possible to find love and a permanent relationship to hang your life on anymore? Things are just things. They are nice to have, but to have them alone is an empty feeling. You really do need a partner to share life with, that is how we are created.
It is sad that we cannot break through the facades of people around us and just be real, and have real feelings. Yes, it is important to find someone to help support your family, who will not be a taker but a giver. I think that in this non-touching world that has become very difficult. People are afraid to really reach out, or be touched without assuming there is some other motive. I can only offer hope, and say keep reaching out, and someday the person will come along who will complete you. Good luck.