Pressure!!

Mar 29, 2008

Ahhhh! I hate it. I'm pressured to graduate a year early so I can move in with my boyfriend when he graduates. Also if you look at how the grading system is done a 'C' is 'average', anything higher is above average. So why am I pressured to get STRAIGHT A's. It's stupid, and really hard. Dealing with depression, anxiety, ADD, and a mood disorder justs adds to the problem. Ugh. My mom is really the problem. She pressures me to be just like my younger sister. Act like her, loose 20 pounds so I can be as skinny as her, be like her, and everything. It drives me nuts. They always say, "be who you are", but thats a little hard when they won't let you. Sometimes I just feel really alone. And it seems like my medication isn't working anymore. Which really sucks. I used to cut, and lately I've thought about doing it, but never really wanted to. Instead all I do hit myself in the thighs really hard. I think I do it because thats one the areas that I hate most about my body. And almost everything else. Usually I'm a really happy person, but lately... I've been really depressed, and angry. I don't want to end up in the hospital again. That was "one" of the worst nights of my life. The worst still haunts me. Add me on myspace, if you have any of the same feelings. I just don't want to feel alone. Here's my url: myspace page.