my quarterlife crisis

Nov 29, 2007 - 22:54 PM PST
I've been going through a lot lately... or maybe I haven't been and thats the problem. normally a 3rd year college student has a small hashing of friends by now. I... have not. well I did... most of them are either extremely busy all the time or we've lost touch. i've got 3 extremely close friends back home whom I can say anything to. we've all been through a lot together and it's brought us all a lot closer I think.
So there's that. then theres the problem of having really no physical interaction with a women in awhile. I'm not the type of person who just meets someone and goes for the kill and sleeps with them or anything. nothing close to that. in fact, i'm scared shitless of the idea even though I dream about it all the time. Just having someone that close. the day dreams are mostly those of laying in bed, all the blinds drawn with the sun beating on them. just laying around in bed all day with them. making pillow talk, being myself...I don't know. sometimes I feel i'm doomed to a life of loneliness.
there's also the fact that I'm out on my own. it's different..having a house. I still don't call it home. i've always held onto that idea (which came from Garden State) that home is just a group of people looking for that same imaginary place. I miss the closeness and easiness of just being able to walk down the stairs and asking my parents for anything.

Growing up is downright depressing and it's magnified when you feel you can't share it with someone close to you.

I feel like a retard going off like this. I've never really talked about stuff like this out loud. i'm not sure what else to say. I never do and I always seem to leave things in a strewn about mess.

my quarterlife crisis

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5 Comments

Mar 03, 2008 - 17:12 PM

clhSerenity on
Hey man, don't be down on yourself about sharing what you are going through. Trust me, you are not alone in what you are feeling. I understand what it's like to not have someone. It sucks to be lonely but sometimes, that's just the way things happen. Hope you find someone to hang with.
Feb 13, 2008 - 07:09 AM

TahaniSon on
I think its pretty stellar that you would be so open. Shows some guts.
Feb 13, 2008 - 07:08 AM

TahaniSon on
I think its pretty stellar that you would be so open. Shows some guts.
Jan 06, 2008 - 17:10 PM

jslick on
Hey, I'm a 24 year old guy and I felt the exact same way that you do now when I was in college. At least you have taken the time to think about it and write about it. I just did my best to ignore those feelings and occupy myself with playing college sports.

Just to warn you, those feelings never go away. In fact I would say that they only intensify. But I think that a big part of growing up is confronting those feelings head on. That is what I am trying to do anyway. Dealing with loneliness is just one of many issues that we must face as we get older.

Leaving the safety and warmth of your parents, facing the world on your own, and finding someone to love and who loves you for a long period of time is probably the most monumental step that we take in life. However, I believe and hope that going through this makes us stronger and better people. Good luck.
Dec 22, 2007 - 14:02 PM

Leviathon on
"Just having someone that close. the day dreams are mostly those of laying in bed, all the blinds drawn with the sun beating on them. just laying around in bed all day with them. making pillow talk, being myself" ha. i know what you mean. ive been wanting that too lately.