Whatever Happened to "Dating"?

Feb 27, 2008 - 11:44 AM PST
Mind if I ask everyone a quick question? What the fuck ever happened to dating? Now I know what you are thinking...Josh...but...I am dating a girl right now. That's not what I meant. Dating as we know it is completely different than what was called dating back in the previous generations. I am not sure when it exactly changed...but all I know is dating now a days is completely different than it ever used to be.

We watch old movies and "period pieces" about life in the 50's and they have all these foreign notions to us like "going steady" and "pinning her". It used to be that kids used to date each other and several other people...and if they started to have a "spark" the boy would ask the girl if she wanted to "go steady". This was a huge step and it was often almost as scary as asking a girl to marry you because it was a HUGE step. Basically..you were asking the girl if she wanted to date no one else but you...and apparently this was a big thing. Our generation seems to have skipped a step. You see a girl you think it cute...you ask her out...and it is implied that you two are "a couple". We have completely skipped the dating stage and moved directly to going steady. For the most part this might not be too horrible a consequence...I mean...its just like adding an express lane to love...but it also limits peoples experiences and also can train them for disaster.

The whole inspiration for this article came from a few friends of mine...and I know a lot of you out there will think I am writing this directly about you..but that fact right there speaks to the dire circumstances I believe we live in. I ask you this...how often have you had friends...or even you yourself been dating a girl/guy for just a short while...maybe a few weeks...and someone has already proposed to the other. Suddenly in less than a month you have gone from just meeting to suddenly being engaged. What the fuck is this? I get this all the time. Two of my friends will start dating and then all of a sudden they are engaged. Eventually the "good news" will get to me and then someone will either be hurt...or offended, when I don't offer my heartfelt congratulations. Let me tell you why.

YOUR ENGAGEMENT WILL FAIL. You are not going to marry your so-called "fiance". Maybe you are just too susceptible to puppylove...maybe you are just looking for the smiles and adulation of of letting people share in your "great news", or maybe you are just an idiot. I don't understand what makes people think they are ready for marriage after such a short time...but I for one am a realist. If you come to me and tell me you are getting married...I will flat out tell you to your face that I *KNOW* you are in fact NOT getting married...but furthermore that you will be broken up within two months. You will not get any congratulations from me...just mocking and a severe buzz kill.

I cant exactly put my finger on it...but I think it might have something to do with the instant gratification society we live in. Inventions such as computers and the internet make things come to us so quickly people are no longer willing to wait for results...so I am thinking maybe that "need for speed" translates into other aspects of our lives as well.

Hell...why not? If information can be transferred at near the speed of light...why can't we get to know people that much quicker? Well....we just can't. People are never who they truly are until much later in the relationship. So if you come to me and expect me to give my congratulations...fuck you. You will be mocked...and my view of you will drop at least 10 points.

People wonder why the divorce rate in the 90's went to supremely high. People tend to credit that fact to the growing acceptance of divorce and the removal of the "stigma" attached to it. I think it's the other way around. I think the removal of the stigma is actually just a byproduct of the fact that people rush into marriage way the fuck too fast. People like to talk about "their grandparents" generation and more or less "blame" the reason couples stayed together then as simply a way to save face in a loveless marriage. I don't believe that for a moment. Couples back then DATED in the true meaning of the word. They got to know one another for a LONG time before moving to the next step. There was a proper progression towards marriage and you didn't rush. Unfortunately now-a-days people are unwilling to put the time into a relationship in order to make sure it's right...and THAT is what leads towards the divorce.

So next time you get engaged to your boyfriend/girlfriend of 2 months....don't bother telling me because I won't like what I have to say. Enjoy your divorce.

Whatever Happened to "Dating"?


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1 Comments

Feb 28, 2008 - 17:32 PM

Arlyn on
Harsh but true!