FUCKING FUCK FUCK >{

Feb 17, 2008 - 23:28 PM PST
You know, I don't need validation, I don't need girls to tell me I'm a great guy, and that i make a wonderful friend, and that one day I'll find that one girl. I'm sorry, but I'm going full out on this one because my emotions are absolutely raging. FUCK ALL OF THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT, THAT'S ALL IT IS, AND IT'S JUST A EUPHEMISTIC WAY FOR A GIRL TO TELL ME TO FUCK THE HELL OFF!!!!! WELL FUCK YOU! I have been more than patient, I'm going 19 going on 20 and I've never been in a relationship. Girls go out with me, or lead me on, then they flush me down the toilet once they're done using me. THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT. I only have 3 purposes when it comes to women. Getting used to wipe their ass, getting used to get revenge/make an ex-boyfriend jealous, and getting used to get compliments until someone better can ask them out. Ya know what? I FUCKING WANT BETTER FOR ONCE, DAMMIT. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT? I'm nice, and I don't try to hurt people. I want to help people, if anything. Maybe this is God punishing me for something awful that I've done, and if so, I'm so sorry. My reason for living is to have a family and settle down. It's truly the only thing I want. What do I have to do just to get a girlfriend? Is it my looks? is it my personality? is it my aura? What is it about me that begs for girls to take a massive shit on? I'm just sick of it. The next time a girl flirts with me, tells me I'm cute, tells me that I, of all people are making them rethink their dating life, and then turns around and tells me they just want me to be a guy friend, I'm going to fucking snap. I might break down and cry in front of them, and embarrass and emotionally scar myself for life. Fuck this, fuck it all. Wow I used fuck a lot, I wonder how many times I said it, and how many more I've still got in me.

FUCKING FUCK FUCK >{

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2 Comments

Feb 18, 2008 - 21:28 PM

Sarien on
Hey man,I hate to say this but you know that, even if you do get a girlfriend and form a normal and nice relationship, that doesn't mean that you will make a family with that person.I have seen many good relationships end :/ And don't hurry man, I am a girl and my first relationship ever is the one I've been having for the last 5years, which means I was 18 when I first dated a guy...Don't laugh, but even my mom asked me when I was 17 if I was a lesbian or something cause I didn't have a boyfriend yet.Hehe...I never thought I would still be with the same person and still be happy and passionate and having fun.So, don't get that frustrated and don't date too much.If you meet a girl that really interests you, try to get to know her a bit before you ask her out or even if she asks you out don't say yes!Girls,just like guys, act totally different when romance isn't in the picture.They are not so "nice" and "sweet" and "kind".They act like they trully are.And by that I don't mean they are bitches, but we all know people are more polite when they know the person they are talking to likes them and vise versa.
It's a good thing you expresed yourself like that and used the word fuck a lot,outbursts like this help :)
Feb 18, 2008 - 02:01 AM

mamay on
Hun reading through your blog, the problem I see is that you are just trying too hard. It will happen when the time is right. You should not stress out that you don't have a girlfriend yet. It will come, don't trip about it. As you have said you've heard almost all compliments from a lot of people and you still wonder why then do I not have a girlfriend then? Is God punishing me? Well have you stop for once and step out side of the your box and see it through His eyes? God is not punishing you, He simple just want the BEST for you. YOu just have to be patient my dear. As for the time being I bet that there are a lot of things you could do. I know it is hard, I felt the same why when my relationship with my ex for 2.5 yrs came to an end last year. Everyone was telling me it won't be hard for me to find someone knew bcoz I am this I am that. But look it's been about 10 months now and I'm still single. I am not stressing out of it. Right now I am enjoying being with myself. Unless you can be happy and know how to appreciate yourself it will be hard for you to make other people like or in this case LOVE you. So take it easy on yourself okay?