The Party In South Carolina

Jun 04, 2008 - 21:41 PM PST
Friday I got out of Riverside Military Academy-
So its Friday, but not just any Friday, this is the Friday that I get out of that sorry shit-hole excuse for a school that they call RMA. Now that I am out of hell..oops, I mean Riverside. I no longer have to deal with shitty wanna-be cadet leadership, can have a cell phone when I want, internet access, and look at girls (since RMA is a gay sausage-fest). Well anyway my parents came and got me, and as I was driving home I got a phone call. It was Mike, a friend of mine that lives in SC. He calls and tells me that he is having a huge party down at his house this Saturday, I tell him yeah Ill find a way to get there. I finally get back to my house, and let my mom unpack all of my shit. Later that night I tell my parents that I am going to bed.

Saturday, 12:03 AM
Since I called of my friends and no one can give me a ride, I figured I would just have to do what I always do. Steal my Dad's BMW, now realize this, MY DAD LOVES THIS CAR MORE THAN ME. I already figured a grounding was coming when my parents realize that I am not there in the morning, so I might as well travel in style.

Saturday, 8:30 AM
I arrive at Mikes house, accidently kick in his screen door. But I make up for it by making breakfat for him and his girlfriend. But shes a vegetarian and complains about the sausage, I am too lazy to make a whole nother omlette, so I just tell her to fuck off instead.

Saturday, 10:30 AM
We go to the liquor store his parents own to get all the fun for the party, since he gets a 30% discount. He has been saving up for this party for about 3 months, and we spent $500 on booze. We got 2 kegs, 6 bottles of vodka, 3 bottles of everclear, and other stuff that I cant remember. We get back and proceed to lock all the valuble things up, because who knows what can happen at a party. Now that all the preparing is done for the party, we sleep so we can stay up all night.

Saturday, 6:30 PM
Guests start arriving, and the drinks start flowing. But tonight, I say to myself, I will start out slow. So I only do 3 shots. I am talking to random people I don't know, but its all good.

Saturday, 9:30 PM
I am pretty drunk right about now, and I am dancing with this girl, I forget her name now though. We get bored so we set up the trampoline next to the pool, that amused us for about an hour. If you have never seen drunk people jump on a trampoline, it is a sight to behold.

Saturday, 11:00 PM
I start going at it with the Everclear, which is one of the best drinks on the face of this earth. I also start making fun of people I don't know. To an old guy "Hey gramps, wrong place, the retirement center is the next block over." There was some more, but I cangt remember.

Sunday, 12:03 AM
We start getting bored, and when drunk people get bored, shit gets dangerous. We get the paintball guns, and get one of the sober people to drive us around. Well we are crusin around the neighborhood wondering what we can shoot. And I get one of the best ideas in the world. HOMELESS PEOPLE. There is a plethora of them in Mikes neighborhood, and nobody likes homeless people. Know this theese were crack-head homeless people, not nice ones. So we drive under a bridge and start shooting at them, they were all cracked out so they didnt know what was goin on. A guy came at us with a knife, and that was the cue to get the fuck out of there. We go back to the house and drink some more. About 3 minutes later I pass out.

Sunday, 7:45 AM
I wake up staring at a bright blue sky. Im thinking, how the fuck did I end up outside. I sit up and see a lake all around me, I guess Im still dreaming. But then I look around. AND REALIZE I AM ON A FUCKING BOAT. I still have no idea how I got here, there were 4 other people on the boat but they could not remember how I got on. We drive back to shore, and I get a cab back to Mikes.

Sunday, 8:30 AM
I arrive at Mikes, and the first thing I notice is that someone sprayed EAT PUSSY along my dads BMW. Great now I'm really fucked. I go in and get my stuff, I see Mike watching spongebob on his TV, which has vomit on it. I tell him I gotta leave, and he replies by saying "bologna" I have no idea why.

Sunday, 5:30 PM
I arrive back at my house, and my parents are pissed. My dad is even more pissed when he sees the lime green EAT PUSSY spray painted on his car. But it was totally worth 1 week of grounding, and paying for a new paint job on my dads car.


-Dalton

The Party In South Carolina

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2 Comments

Jun 22, 2008 - 19:34 PM

teejers on
wow.
Jun 04, 2008 - 22:11 PM

Yeenz on
Yea, thats pretty sav