Phony?

Mar 29, 2008 - 22:26 PM PST
Ahhhh!!! Okay so this is not in reference to anything specific that I have or anyone else has written, but does anyone ever just feel ridiculously conscious of what they write to the point that it just feels like you are trying to write something that is going to be the next profound comment that is either going to create meaning or revelation in your own life or drastically affect anyone who reads it. Sometimes I just feel like a big phony when I write down stuff because regardless of the place it comes from within me, I constantly am so self-aware that I feel like a tool or a joke that shouldn't be taken seriously. I mean this also happens in conversations too for me but moreso in writing just because I am usually thinking about what I want to say. It seems so difficult to say what I want to say and have people understand. Is profound writing that which all persons can understand but is self conscious or that writing which all people can understand and is not conscious of itself as a piece? It is constantly a question that I ask myself.

Soemtimes I wish that I wasn't so self-aware of myself and other people because I feel less genuine with that awareness. Food for thought anyone?

Phony?

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3 Comments

Jun 16, 2008 - 11:26 AM

sarahrose on
I don't know...I've thought about this kind of thing before (though admittedly, probably couldn't have expressed it as eloquently as you have!) But I sort of drew the conclusion that when you speak without over-thinking you generally say what your really mean. And probably sometimes its better to be more self-aware so that you spare others' feelings, or avoid getting yourself in trouble..but in general I prefer to speak from the heart and not the head! And if people can appreciate a true honest thought, then they will appreciate you. If they cannot, then they will miss out on something amazing!
Apr 06, 2008 - 16:41 PM

birdsfromtheatl on
Yeah, that happens to me alot when I'm writing It is as though I'm writing it for others to read and love, not for myself.
Mar 31, 2008 - 17:57 PM

milsomsam on
Don't worry, I don't think there's such a thing as being too self-aware! I'm exactly the same, always questioning myself to the point where I almost can't decide on what I am actually writing - or believe in.

It's a sign that you are aware of the fact that you do not know everything, but want to know - which, of course, is the way of all great philosophers!

Maybe I'm just rambling now, and doing the very same thing you've described (how ponsy am I sounding?!?) BUT at the end of the day, it's better to be like this, than to pretend you know everything and are talk like you know everything about things you don't know anything... ie a life of ignorance!

Keep it coming!