My Sexual Drowsiness

Mar 19, 2008 - 08:39 AM PST
When I first saw a woman naked (in a magazine I heart-beatingly secreted from the top rack at Walden), I was surprised to discover that breasts had nipples. I should have been able to reason that out on my own without the help of Playboy Natural Beauties Special Edition, but I had never thought about it. It certainly makes sense. I mean, I have nipples, so it would make sense that the ladies would have them too. But honestly, as a thirteen-year-old boy, I didn’t spend a whole lot of time imagining what else breasts might be like other than they were secretive mounds that I knew in some way were interesting to me.

And it seems like everyone can remember when they first noticed they were getting pubic hair. I remember when I first noticed. It was shocking because I can’t remember any progress leading up to that understandably confusing after-twosies experience. All of a sudden, there was this sub-tropical jungle of love that I couldn’t recall ever being patchy grassland, as it must have been at some point.

And I’ve never been entirely comfortable calling breasts anything other than just plain “breasts.” Even “boobs” strikes me as weird. For that reason I would be the worst dirty talker ever since this same tendency extends to the more exciting places. I don’t care if “penis” and “vagina” aren’t sexy words. I can’t call them anything else, not seriously. I may throw in an occasional “lady business” or “mantenna array,” but in the moment, when actual party bits are involved, it’s either the proper names or no names at all.

While I’m on genitalia, I was also surprised at discovering orgasms. I knew that such things existed, but I was initially unaware that there was more to it than just discharge. The first time I was confronted by one, I was almost reluctant to continue once it became apparent that something was tingly, tingly and amiss. My thoughts ran along the lines of What the fuck? and Not as advertised! And looking back, it confuses me as to what I was trying to accomplish in the first place, not fully knowing about the payoff. I can only conclude that it must have been the one and only time that my sexual instincts have kicked in.

Now I understand why I’m so good at the crane game and why I can always manage to get a prize.

My Sexual Drowsiness


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2 Comments

Apr 22, 2008 - 20:53 PM

unum on
vajayjay

Mar 20, 2008 - 15:16 PM

_re on
haha... you're funny :) i'm sure that with a little practice you could work your way up to some dirty talk :P... some girls (to remain nameless) like that ;)