Something to wonder.

Mar 08, 2008 - 19:24 PM PST
For the past couple of years, the focus has been on self, and identity. Because, I believe in anything-- above finding someone else, you first have to find yourself. Yet, can we ever really find out who we really are? And what if we find someone perfect along the way and you're so insistent on the idea and sole intent of finding your true identity that you miss it. Or them, altogether. Have you ever met someone so like you that the idea of them and just being with them fascinates you?

And when you have met them, have you tried so hard not to ruin things? But they just end up getting worse, and since the both of you are similar, you tend to run away because even know you know that there's something good, you just... have to.

As humans, we will always make mistakes. The thing that matters if we are brave or courageous enough to step it up and try to correct the errors we made. He shocked me, and he did, or at least made a valiant attempt.

When I met him, I had no idea that it would have ended up this way. But then again, do we ever know? We were exactly alike. Isn't it interesting how you can loathe yourself completely, yet find someone who is exactly like you and be attracted to them? I'm asking a bunch of stupid questions that I know have already been answered by just experiencing this with him. I fell in love, stupidly and naively. I've always heard that we can't help who we fall in love with, but in the case-- I wanted to control it. But, I couldn't.

A friend once told me that her mother said that boys and girls can never be 'just friends'. I find this true, because one person's feelings or the other, or both (if you're lucky) will develop into more. You'll never feel the feelings at a strictly platonic level. We started as friends, developed into best friends, which eventually developed into more. And it's hilarious that in an instant, all that trust can be taken away.

But I have to forgive and forget.
I wanted to cry when he sent me what he wrote.
And I almost choked on the phone.

I find love to be an interesting thing.
I hope that eventually we can work it out and work it back to a level to where we used to be.

Something to wonder.

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