Falling Despite the Doubt

Mar 15, 2008 - 02:38 AM PST
Doubt is an integral facet of human nature. We doubt our own self-worth, abilities, our dedication, our looks, our personalities, and our success. We second-guess the motives of significant others, question the reliability of our friends and family, and face career and personal choices with uncertainty. Those of us who aim to live a life of total trust and vulnerability often find ourselves broken and downtrodden, battered by the metaphorical rapists of society that mistake our kindness for weakness and leave us curled in the fetal position in a darkened alley, angry at ourselves for being so giving, utterly afraid to show vulnerability again, and completely terrified of love.

Then someone special comes along that makes you feel like this time might be different; this might be someone you can call a real friend; this might be the one person who is worthy of your heart. And you bare yourself cautiously, hopeful that this person who sees you standing before them, mentally and emotionally naked to the core of your soul, won’t be like the others… won’t lead you on, won’t take advantage of your feelings. And you find yourself falling into a tailspin, chaotic and out of control, and you reach out to grab something – anything – to slow your descent but you just continue to fall. And you tell yourself it’s fine, because you know there is at least one person out there who cares, one person who will be there to catch you just before you hit the ground. So you relax and let yourself go, surrendering to the unknown, and you take in a deep breath, knowing this is it… this is what love is supposed to feel like…

And without warning, your body slams into the rock-hard earth, shattering and shaking from the unexpected impact. Heartbroken, your teary eyes search for that person, the one you thought you could depend on, the one who was supposed to catch you. And you see them, standing 5 feet away, looking upward eagerly, expectant… hoping for someone else to fall into their arms.

Falling Despite the Doubt

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1 Comments

Mar 23, 2008 - 20:01 PM

fueledbyleslie on
My big sister is my role model now.
Someday, I will write like her :)