Waiting

May 22, 2008

It is not that she doesn’t believe she can get it finished. She just doesn’t know what to do after that. Her strength has always come from her staying busy. It is what she has let become her identity. But today, today she has to focus on today. Tomorrow will come no matter what , but she can control today.

She got the call the night before. When her phone rang, she was so sure it was a telemarketer. Normally she would answer in her best “worse impersonation” of whomever that did not speak English. But that is not who this was…..why couldn’t it have been them.?

The rest was a blur…the screaming, lots of screaming….make them stop screaming…..(oh God It’s me screaming)!!!! The lights, sirens, bodiless faces smiling and talking, but she couldn’t hear them. None of it made sense.
But then, they took her to see her little boy. He looked as peaceful as everytime he slept, except, there were all these wires on him, in him, keeping him alive.
Now she waits....waits to see if he lives or dies, waits to see if she has the strength to find out...waits to see if her whole world will crumble.