Mar 05, 2008
i'm literally separated from one of the most intricate and disastrous pains i have experienced up to this point in my life, by a phone call. I don't know how to pray, i know I'm no longer able to pray for the decision leading to my own comfort. it's as though it's not even an option right now. my spirit is seeing this with all confidence in the control of my savior, but there is still the feedback of my flesh, my earthly nature, that is begging to break out and control me into a panic. everything is surreal, almost numb. i've been here before, never on my own will would wish to return. but this is life, it is essential, and in about 30 minutes a phone call will decide where my faith and trust truly lies.
this is no place of happiness, it is a battleground.
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