i find it odd (just a thought)
March 30, 2008 at 11:15 PST
I get that people like to raise money for various things, girl/ boy scouts, vetrans and cancer walks. I don\'t understand why people see my scar, while working these said tables and have the nerve to ask me what happened, or in the younger folks section \"why does your neck look like a monster\'s?\" i can\'t help but not want to buy their products, with an annoyed \"i had cancer.\" they then ask the stupidest question of all. \"why would you go through something that would scar you rather than chemo?\" who the fuck do they think they are? they know nothing about my life, but they feel the need to tell me i\'m ugly and i didn\'t choose the right option....
Well i have news, i did choose the right option, i had a baby growing inside me! that is why i didn\'t do chemo, i would have had to terminate the pregnancy, yeah that\'s rigth something even uglier than my neck is these strangers telling me about how i should have killed the fetus because i would haeve had a better chance.... umm hello, i\'m alive and i have a relatively healthy 2 year old. sure my cancer is back for the third time but honestly he\'s the reason i fight this cancer, everyday i look at him and wonder what life would be like without him. werid i know, but imagine no doing something that changed your life. Like not joining a club/sport. not going to college, dropping out of school. imagine if you will if you actually tried to make it work with your first love, everything in your power, how do you picture that life.
i am happy with my choice of this scar and my son. i would not change anything about that situation.
just a suggestion, don\'t tell people about how scary scars are. it\'s really not the best conversation for a first impression. besides some people still haven\'t come to grip with the fact they have a huge scar.. like for my sister is a waitress, she had a table where a guy was missing half his pointer finger he says while holding up his fingers \"four beers\" my sister then noticed his half finger and replied \"you mean three and a half.\" the guy was shocked she\'d say such a thing, then she thought about my scar and the way people move on buses and subway carts away from me. she apologized and learned to hold her tounge.
for my friend's... 
sometimes i... 
