And I Fall Again...

Oct 02, 2008 - 00:13 AM PST

The last few days has been calm for me, emotionally. As some who have been reading my entries would have known by now that I am quite angry and depressive. But I was really surprised when I woke up last Saturday morning feeling kind of neutral.

I wasn't feeling down nor happy. I felt more like my emotional indicator has been reset. I felt like I woke up feeling brand new and anything seems possible. Like a clean slate.

I still do things that I usually do i.e. looking for sex online (I stopped going to the bars and clubs long time ago...), harassing those who pissed me off, bla bla bla... But there wasn't any after thought. I did my usual things and I let it be. I wasn't really expecting or hoping for the outcome.

But as much as I like what is happening recently, good things don't last. And today marked that moment.

I was keeping in touch with F, who was kind of nice and a jerk at the same time. I haven't met F in months and I was hoping we could get together over drinks. We were planning to meet and today I was confirming with F whether today would be okay to meet up.

And then F replied my SMS saying "I don't think we have anything in common to be friends".

A couple of days ago F sounded friendly and now, after 9 months of keeping in touch, F just dumped that crap on me.

Just for the record, we did have sex together...

I was really disappointed (I did useless things just to keep me distracted) but it is something that I kind of expected.

Well, I'm not gonna let that bad vibe ruin my whole week. I was feeling just fine and I'm keeping it that way, at least for a whole week...