Bad Timing

Apr 03, 2008 - 18:51 PM PST

I won't deny it anymore I have 1) the worst timing ever and 2) the stupidest mind ever. I don't listen to my heart, i just take advantage of whatever is right in front of me. In the past 7 months I have learned to turn off my emotions entirely. Those of you who read my rambles know that I 1) am in love with the one boy I can't have (okay so maybe hes not the only one i cant have but hes the only one i want period). I thought that all of my chances were completely gone, and the one time hes thinking about taking me back what do i do... DATE SOMEONE ELSE. HOW RETARDED IS THAT!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? (sorry angry spaz). I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM AND THE ONE TIME HE MAY WANT ME IM A TOTAL TWAT AND DONT EVEN SENSE IT. I JUST SIT AROUND THINKING WELL I HAD NO CHANCE SO I HAVE TO TRY AND MOVE ON RIGHT? OF COURSE NOW THAT I HAVE ONCE AGAIN FOR THE TRILLIONTH TIME CONFESSED MY LOVE TO HIM HE DOESNT WANNA GIVE ME THE TIME OF DAY... WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME. I CANT EVEN SET MY OWN LIFE STRAIGHT... and yet everyone comes to me for advice.... I DONT HAVE ANY ADVICE... OBVIOUSLY THE WAY I LIVE MY LIFE IS NOT GOOD~! I SCREW UP EVERYTHING!

and this is to the boy who got inside my head with all the pretty things he said.
did you know i miss you?