College.

Mar 26, 2008 - 19:14 PM PST

Damn, i'm so stressed out right now. these colleges have been bombarding me with impersonal mail and emails trying to get me to go to their respective schools. But really now, how would an impersonal letter from a random college make me want to go there? i know its just to show me that the school is even out there, but i've been researching colleges since 6th grade, and i know my top 5. i don't know. its just stressful, because its coming up so fast, and i don't know if i'm ready. i've been planning for this my entire life...but now it seems like i'm running out of time to plan. i KNEW that i was going to be a lawyer. i KNEW. it was already set in stone, at least in my mind...but now? now i'm thinking, what if i did become a corporate lawyer? would i have any time to raise my kids? to be at home? i don't want to be the powerful bitchy woman lawyer who misses her kid's school plays. people have been telling me all this shit, talking at me, not to me, pushing and shoving and poking and prodding until i just can't stand it anymore.
also, this leadership program contacted me. it's this prestigious program where you go to an Ivy League college and learn leadership skills. and they've "accepted" me into the program...yet i still have to apply? i don't get it. anyway, you can also go abroad, and its worth THREE IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE CREDITS. which is awesome. but the catch is that it cost like 5k. not even kidding. where would i get that kind of money? damn. i would love to go abroad so bad. the program that i would want to go to is a tour of europe. we would go to prague, vienna, paris, london, lucerne, salzburg, berlin, munich...and a couple other major cities. its 3 weeks long, and it would be completely wonderful. sadly, its uber-expensive. sad.
okay....this was a weird long entry, and i'm tired and kept losing my train of though, so don't be mean if none of the above made sense.