Confused and Sad.

Mar 19, 2008 - 09:41 AM PST

He calls me early this morning. I ask him where he was. He tells me simple things like the mall and golf... then he breaks my heart. Im going to move away soon he says. Going into the army or moving back home with my mom. He asks me Do you want to invest your heart still? I cannot uninvest what ive invested. I cry. He explains it would be better this way. I cry more. Can you just get rid of something you love like this? This is our last chance but he leaves in 4 months... why did he want me back if he was just going to leave again? my stomach churns. my head hurts. my eyes burn. but most of all my heart aches. He doesnt understand what he means to me. He still wants to hangout and be together but not like we are now...He says he loves me and that he doesnt want to hurt me but he hurts me all the time...little things hurt the most and he doesnt understand that at all. Why then do I take him back? Why do I do the things I do for him when I know he wouldnt do them for me? Simply put is the fact that no matter what I will always love him... we have memories that I cannot erase and feelings I cannot make fade. He means alot to me and I just wish he would feel the same as I do. Im Irritated, Confused, and Sad.