does it ever end? Apparently not.

Jan 06, 2008 - 21:46 PM PST

I was always told that all high school drama leaves when you're done with high school. I've been out of high school for 3 years now and nothing has seemed to change.

In high school here were the cliques. The cool kids, the jocks, the theatre kids, the nerds, the goths, etc. Everyone fit in somewhere.. except for a select few. I was one of those select few. I played water polo in high school, but I was never good enough to hang out with the jocks. I was never congratulated for a good game. I was never recognized for my efforts in pushing the team through a win. I was in theatre in high school, but I wasnt artsy enough to hang out with the theatre kids. I could have nailed a scene perfect and I wouldnt get even a "Hey, good job." I could have recruited the best possible actors for parts and nobody ever noticed who did the casting.

Supposedly, this is all supposed to be left behind when you grab your diploma and head off to college. Maybe it was the fact I never grabbed that diploma and I never went off to a real college. Who knows. 3 years later not much has changed. I am still transparent as I was in high school.

I started working at my job last February. Two months ago I got promoted to assistant manager. This has been the only accomplishment I have ever been noticed for doing. Even then, I believe that I got it not because of my co-workers noticed me excelling in what I do, but because nobody else would step up to the plate. I could fix the biggest problem and nobody would notice I did it. Yet, if someone else did the same thing they would get flooded with praise. Why is this?

I dont slump and hide in a corner. I am very outgoing and try to get a long with everybody. I do my job to the best of my ability. Why am I transparent? Why is this still happening when I was always told it would end? Perhaps I was lied to. Maybe it as a sly move of my family and friends to get me to push through onto my next stage of life. Whatever the case is, it sucks. Im tired of being transparent. I want to be noticed for something, for something good.