Fatality.

Sep 27, 2008 - 16:54 PM PST

I seriously wish I was dead.

It might sound negative, but it's probably the most positive thing I've ever thought of in my entire life.

When I die, hope will be created. Right now, there is nothing.

I am depressed more than three quarters of the time I am awake, and I believe I'm depressed when I'm asleep as well because of the nightmares I have.

It's just that ... I can't stand living here anymore. These people whom I'm supposed to love all doing nothing but kill me. Everyday they give me reason to want to tear at my skin. Sometimes, I wish I still cut, just so things would get better faster, because when I cut, I'd feel at least a small bit better in a matter of minutes.

Now, I'm falling endlessly into this black fucking hole that I can't get out of.

It's like I was born in hell, and now I can't escape it. I can't fucking escape any of it.

I just want to die. I want to be gone.

I'm constantly being pulled in several different directions. What People don't realize is that all I want is out of here; I want to be rid of this place, and these people.

All I want is to be gone.

Can't anyone respect that?

I know that one I'm away from here, I will move on to somewhere else. I can't just dissapear into thin air. There has to be a way to live on, and as I live on, I will be rid of these people.

I don't care if I'm reborn as the longest-living tree on the planet, just as long as I can be with myself, and nobody else. I don't want anybody ruling over me.

This people just dont' fucking understand that they're fucking killing me every day.

Everyday I become weaker, I sink deeper, I fall lower. I'm dying. I can feel it.

But what is one to do when he is dying?

Just ... die?