FRUSTRATED!

Mar 10, 2008 - 10:34 AM PST


She tries to forget
He continues to remind
She’s letting go
He follows right behind

Isn’t this what you wanted?
You’re not suppose to care
Isn’t this what you needed?
She walks by, you stare

She wants to leave you
He pretended to walk away
She thought its what you wanted
He fooled her to stay

Does he like to see her hurting?
You’ve caused enough pain
Does he want to make her cry?
You’ve made her go insane

^sometimes i write corny things.

BUT SERIOUSLY!! I hate playing this tug of war game with him..back and forth, back and forth. I can't win! Everytime I try to forget him he needs to insure me that he still "cares" or that he's still "around." I can't take it! He purposely does things to hurt me and I'm like thats it that was the final straw. Then he acts like he cares again and I go back to him, knowing what the outcome is going to be. Is something wrong with me? Or is this normal? The last time he REALLY hurt me. He told me he wanted to try dating (which we practically do anyways) then the next day he took it back and said he's unsure. I know he's "just not that into me," but I don't want to except it and I let him continue to hurt me like this.

So after that whole...lets date for a day...thing. I stopped talking to him. FOR A WHOLE WEEK! (go me!!). BUT OF COURSE! he needed to make known that he was thinking about me. He texted me 3 days straight...I ignored him. On that third day he's like "alright you can stop being a bitch now". ME? Me the bitch? Why because he treats me like crap and I usually take him back but this time I was actually sticking to something.

You guessed right. He got me again. That night I ended up talking to him, I went to see him actually. He always gets what he wants. I dont want him any more (yes I do, who am I kidding), but I can't keep doing this with him. I know he doesn't want me like that, and losing him would be like losing a best friend. I need to let go. But how?

AND BREATHE. I needed to vent.