Heading back west...

Jul 10, 2008 - 06:39 AM PST


So as it turns out, my roomate got a temporary job offer in CT, which has her living in a hotelroom for the next 6-8 weeks. I can't very well afford to go with her, and I don't want to stay in Northampton alone for the next two weeks until I have to go home anyway. I realized that I start school much earlier that I anticipated and have to be in St. Louis for orientation starting August 12. So I decided to cut my looses, save the 1,000 I have left, and move back in with my parents for 2 weeks until my student loans come through.

Its so strange though because I really have no idea why I am doing anything anymore. Six months ago I was set that I was going to go to law school in Indiana, things were very serious with my boyfriend, and I was looking forward to moving forward with a career in government. Then, I didn't get into the school, boyfriend broke up with me, and I got disheartened about government and politics, along with a plethora of other crap.

The other mess that Ive gotten myself into is that, like an idiot, I slept with the ex when I was home 2 weeks ago. And since then we have been talking daily, and although I know hes probably just being a guy, in the back of my head I am convinced that it meant something to him. But whenever we talk about it, he goes back to I didnt plan for it to happen and I dont know, lets just see what happens, and hes not seeing anyone else, cus I made it clear that I wasn't doing this if he was seeing anyone--but he also doesnt want to commit to dating me. Ugh! Its driving me mad.