i convinced myself to get out of bed today...

Feb 29, 2008 - 01:30 AM PST

...but not until 3:30 in the afternoon. when the to do list for the day is accounting homework and an online test, I'm not exactly excited to jump out of bed in the morning... I'm lacking motivation, and passion, right now in life. I'm getting a business degree and at a private christian university and i don't even know why sometimes. Yes, it should benefit me financially, according to statistics... but it doesn't make me feel alive. i feel alive when I'm playing sports or snowboarding, not when I'm crunching fake numbers of a fake company and analyzing business trends. the only problem is i can't snowboard for a living and i sure as hell can't play football or basketball for a living...

it took me awhile to come to terms with the fact that I'm still just really getting to know myself... which means I'm still working on figuring out what I'm passionate about... which i have somewhat of an idea but the last time i dove into it head first i pretty much hit rock bottom... so right now I'm just working on not conforming to what I'm "supposed" to do in life, but what I want to do, so maybe soon I won't have to talk myself into getting out of bed.