i like to ramble.

Mar 20, 2008 - 18:00 PM PST

do you ever feel like you can't write as well when you're happy than when you're stressed, sad, depressed, or mad?
i feel like i can't write as well because i'm happy, and i have nothing to complain about.
i mean yeah i've got some problems that really suck...but there's no point in being upset about them if they're out of my control. my sophmore year in high school was probably the best writing i've done because i was so damn depressed all the time.
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i have been finding out lately just how obssesed i am with music.
i watch music videos constantly or the music channels.
i play solitare and have pandora on.
i listen to music while i do my homework, while i cook, while i clean, and while i shower.
is that obssesive? i mean at least i'm not obssesive with anything else, or something harmful right?
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sometimes, i'm ashamed of my generation. i go to a technical school and my best friend in my program is 37. yet we get along SO well, she confides in me with her problems and issues, and i do the same. she often just steps back and goes "i always forget you're 18". i guess i'm saying this because i feel like a lot of people my age have no FUCKNG clue what they're doing or where they're going. and i mean...that's fine..that's what life is about...trying to figure your shit out right? but honestly...there's a girl in my program, she's 18 she's 7 months older than i am. she is dumbest person i think i've ever EVER met. the shit that comes out of her mouth sometimes just amazes me.
i have a medical law & ethics class and my teacher is this 60 something super conservative white guy whose extremely closed minded. in the class we go over case studies and discuss them...and some of the things colleen says about them just baffles me. she doesnt seem to have a filter between her mouth and her brain. and when she says something dumb and i give her my "WTF" face, my teacher just goes "ehh she's a baby. she's only 18". now...i know you don't know me..but i'm the biggest smart ass, so of course i go "well what the heck does that mean?! i'm 18 and i'm nothing like her" so then he shuts up. idk.. sometimes i just don't get what she's doing in my class. she fails half the tests, even when the teacher goes over the questions that are gonna be on the test FIVE MINUTES BEFORE HE GIVES IT TO US! she's ridiculous.
the other day she was telling us a "funny story" [more like "this is another reason why you think i'm a dumbass"]. she said "so i was at work the other day, and someone was talking about kennedy, and i was like 'oh yeah..kennedy nixon...the president..right? the one who got assasinated..kennedy nixon"........UHM....WHAT THE FUCK?! first of all...why would you tell us that story? it's not funny..acting like a dumbass isn't cute and it sure as hell isn't going to get you anywhere.
OH and another thing...then i'm done talking about her. for our medical transcription final my teacher said he had fun making the test. his tests are usually so easy, so i was like oh great, easy A. well 5 questions into the test i noticed all my answers were A, so all the answers on the first page were A, the second page B, and the third page C. it seemed like only 4 of us caught that, so i was laughing as i'm doing the test. it takes me 2 minutes to do, and i leave. COLLEEN, "didnt get it". WHAT?! it was so obvious...i just...idk she blows my mind.