If Only Love Really Worked That Way/Young and Confused

Jan 13, 2008 - 23:08 PM PST

Today I was watching some classic movies of Jane Austens masterpieces. By the way I love Jane Austen. Anyway I watched the movie Persuasion. Persuasion is about a 27 year old girl who is unmarried and secretly hopes to be proposed to by a man who has already proposed to her when she was only nineteen. Through the whole movie she is seriously in love with him and so is he. In the end he proposes to her and they get married and buy a mega mansion. That would be so nice if this really happened in real life, but no, it does not. I think the real reason I love Jane Austens books is because I am so jealous of their characters. I wish i could be swept off my feet by some guy that is truly in love with me. Not that I am trying to rush and get married. This isnt Jane Austens time. I am only in 8th grade! I am just saying when i get older, it would be wonderful if that happened. I wonder if people really fantasize about stupid things like this. Maybe I am the only one. Maybe I should have kept this blog private. Err, now this is embarrassing. I should just stop now and save the humiliation. I find it incredible that I can share such personal things with people I barely know. I would never be able to tell my friends this. They all think that I am, in a way, a tomboy. No one really understands who I truly am. Even my closest friends. In my class people would probably describe me as quiet, not too confident, not daring, really good student, and that I dont take chances. Some of that might be true. I just feel like I have a hidden veil over me and no one really knows whats underneath it. I want to be daring. I want to have fun and do something bad for once. I hate being such a good little girl who follows the rules. I secretly wish to tell off someone who gets on my nerves constantly, but I am always nice. Thats the problem with me. I am too nice. Too, well, boring. I hate cursing, I have never kissed anyone, I almost never flirt with anyone. I am basically into my own thing. I dont know if that is a bad thing or not. Its not like I am conceded or anything. I just, I dont know. Now I am rambling and not saying things I actually want to say. I will save this subject for another blog.