late nights

Mar 05, 2008 - 00:15 AM PST

I look at my phone and decide who not to call.

i don't turn it off, i can't.

and i try to forget that i'm in my bed alone.

i bury myself under blankets.
more and more blankets until the weight becomes heavy, until i can't move easily.

i dream about him saying my name. and when i wake up i listen to a saved voicemail message he left when he cared about what i was doing.

and it's proof that he existed.
and it's proof that he did want me.