loss

Jan 26, 2008 - 14:13 PM PST

i envy the twentysomethings who haven't had to deal with loss. it's hard for me to imagine what my life would be like at this point had i not lost one of my best friends in 2001 and then another in 2006. it's easy for me to pin-point that one of the most life-altering things that has happened was the passing of my friend Neil on March 3rd, 2001. had that not happened i know i wouldn't be living in Vancouver. if i wasn't living in Vancouver i'd have never met Aubrey. it's insane to think about where i would be had Neil not came into my life - and of course, i'd never have wanted him not to - even knowing he might not always be with me. but it's strange that one person and one event can so heavily weigh on the direction of things for a life. and i'm know mine was not the only one affect, of course - so many people are on paths they might not have been had March 3rd been different.

there are lucky people out there who haven't lost people. and mostly i just wish i knew how to deal with any of it. this isn't what a person is supposed to 'blog' about, is it? am i supposed to be talking about my political position or critiquing the last movie or book i saw/read? i don't feel like i'm supposed to be writing about this, and yet, i am. i guess if someone is allowed to post about the days their breasts look good, then i'm not breaking any kind of rule.