Marked

Dec 16, 2007 - 14:38 PM PST

It really isn't that they are 12 years old, and don't really reflect the person I am anymore. It isn't even that they remind me of people and things that I would really rather not be reminded of. It isn't even the fact that they could probably use a touch up (or a complete cover-up).

It's that on the inside, I feel like water, fluid, ever-changing, ethereal. That's the type of person I am. I never know how I'm going to change from one day to the next...and my tattoos they have marked me. They have labelled me. They have stamped me down and they are something that I can never escape. They not only do not give an accurate representation of who I am, they defy the very essence of me.

I remember seeing a man on Crimestoppers once and in the profile they were describing tattoos that he had on his arms, and I thought that he would be really easy to find. After I got my first tattoo, that's what I thought - Hm, I'll be really easy to find now. Not that I'm a criminal, or ever will be, but I just feel that I have a limit placed on me now.

I like the idea of a blank canvas. Starting fresh. I like the idea of being timeless.

I feel attached to my past and weighed down by the permanence of time.