Milk and Cereal

Apr 19, 2008 - 09:03 AM PST

So I'm really hoping that the white sludge-like stuff in the milk was just bits of it that had frozen, because other than that it tasted (and smelled) okay, so I used it for breakfast. And I thought this might work for a little bit of an introduction, to my sort of sarcastic and illogical sense of humor if nothing else, since at least half the answers are obviously bullshit (I'm also not sure it puts me in the most positive light, but whatever).



TEN Random things about me:

1. I don’t own a hairbrush.
2. So, therefore, I haven’t brushed my hair in months.
3. I’ve never been pregnant (go me!)
4. I used to be scared a giant, human-sized praying mantis living in our basement and would eat me if I turned off the lights and didn’t run up the stairs fast enough.
5. Trying to chew cooked apples induces my gag reflex instantly.
6. I eat things off the floor.
7. I’ve walked a couple blocks and back and then another couple blocks and then back again, barefoot, in Boston.
8. Sitting in grass is my favorite.
9. Why yes, I have been regurgitated on by a goat before.
10. I don’t smoke cigarettes because not only do I have better things to spend that money on, but I also think smoking cigarettes is one of the most capitalist consumerist-ic things you can possibly do. You’re paying for a brand and their image to fucking kill yourself. It’s absolutely retarded (I suppose if you roll your own cigarettes we could have another argument at a different time). That being said, most of my friends are cigarette smokers, and I think cigarettes smell amazing in almost all cases (there’s a couple of narsty brands, and there’s a difference between me appreciating the smell and you arrogantly exhaling in my face). My favorite is the old stale smell smokers’ clothes and rooms and shit get. Mmm.

NINE places I've visited:
1. Scotland.
2. England.
3. Niagara Falls, Canada.
4. North Florida.
5. Lake Michigan.
6. Massachusetts.
7. Big Sky, Montana.
8. NYC.
9. Hilton Head Island, SC.

EIGHT things I want to do before I die:
1. Visit every country in the entire world.
2. Skydive (which I’ll be doing in like two months, so I guess that’s one down).
3. Eat my own vomit.
4. Shoot up heroin.
5. Cure alzheimers.
6. Sell a kidney on the black market for drug money.
7. Jump the entire wake on a wakeboard.
8. Acquire enough piercings at one period in time to set off a walk-through metal detector.

SEVEN ways to win my heart:
1. Make me laugh.
2. Compliment me (but not very often, that way it actually means something).
3. Spontaneity!
4. Be belligerently drunk 95% of the time (which leaves the other 5% for being unconscious).
5. DON’T take me out to dinner at a nice restaurant and a romantic movie. Barf.
6. Smile.
7. Loud, cocky, and a general air of assholeishness never hurt anybodys’ chances in my book, I have to say.

SIX things I believe in:
1. Herpes.
2. Muscle cramps.
3. Outer space.
4. Tap water.
5. Human rights.
6. Peanut butter and jelly.

FIVE things I'm afraid of:
1. The dark!!
2. Monsters under beds, in closets, behind shower curtains, etc.
3. Rejection, abandonment, that whole deal.
4. Radiation poisoning.
5. People who want to date me (on the rare occasions I run into them).

FOUR of my favorite items in my bedroom:
1. Stuffed animals.
2. Photos from home.
3. My general bed-area (mattress, comforter, $4 used rainbow blanket...)
4. Tye-dye ceiling-drape-thing from Hempfest.

THREE things I do everyday:
1. Pee.
2. Wear a bra (but, not always underwear).
3. Have at least some sort of physical contact with my cell phone (poo).

TWO things I am trying not to do right now:
1. Not shower.
2. Anything productive (homework, cleaning up the room, you get the idea).

ONE person I want to see right now:
1. There isn’t really anybody. I guess my friends from home? I miss them.