2 More

Dec 23, 2007 - 12:31 PM PST

In my first blog i told you about some of my feelings on my family and personal life. Now i will go into my friends. Lets see who do i start with. I dont have a best friend. More like my group of friends each have something that make them the best. If all of my friends were one person that would be my best friend. So the first perosn i will start with is Carter Hantula. I met carter through my brother Sean. they met in seventh grade P.E. class and started hanging out. When my mom was giving him a ride home from school in iegth grade is when we met. He was getting in the car and my mother thought he was already in so she pulled forward and accidentally ran over his foot. It didnt hurt him and he pretended it was a rock, but my mom saw through it and felt so bad. in the end we all just laughed it off. but thats the kind of person carter is. He can forgive anyone for just about everyhting and i think that makes him truly unique. He is very selfconscious about his appearance but he is one of the most remarkable people you would ever have the chance to meet. He has grown to be more like a brother to me than anything. Another close friend of mine is Nicole Clancy. When we first met we hated eachother and when we did eventually become friends we could tell eachother anything. She was the first person i came out too on thanksgiving when i went to her house. She promised she wouldnt tell anyone and i remember i was crushed when she told another girl at school. we stopped beign friends for a while and i was so mad at her but in time i forgave her. our friendship is very rocky and we fight a lot but i thnk it is because we are so much alike. Someone else i will mention is Tyler Renner. Tyler is one of those people that in all sence of the s=word is a geek but he has the talent of still being surprisingly fun. He has very high standards for himself and likes to come off as perfect. He is very smart and his grades show it. the only problem with it is that he is aware of his intelligence and likes to throw it into peoples faces. His life is very routine and to me dull so that is why i wasnt surprised when he risked it by smoking marijuana with a friend form school. He only did it once and only enough to get buzzed but it was somehwat shocking to see someone whom i thought i knew and who i thought to be responsible and smart do something so undeniably stupid. There was a love issue between Nicole and Tyler that lasted about a year. It was the whole Joey Dawson scenario, Nikki loves tyler, tyler doesnt like nikki in "that way" nikki gets over tyler, tyler gets jealous of who nikki likes, and the feelings are very awkward and unspoken so they just pretend to be close friends. In my opinion tyler didnt really like nicole and he never did but he just liked the fact that someone else thought of him that way and when the feelings were gone he craved for them. Another friend is Kelsey Taylor. Kelsey has a problem with words. She either says too much or not enough and usually its the former. She ahs a knack for saying whats on her mind without actually thinking of what will happen once the words are out in the open. I love the fact that she does this yet also at the same time i often wonder why she doesnt think before she acts. Shes the kind of girl who will react to a problem before it even forms. I can relate to her in amny ways because we have both had eperience with loss. I lsot my mother and my father left but kelsey was put up for adoption and i cant imagine how i would feel to know that your real parents are out there somehow. Iw ould always have that wonder that maybe i wasnt good enough for them or what was so important that i couldnt be a part of their lives. But then again my father did chose a different life over my fmaily so i can somehow relate to the rejection. Caitlin Moser is another close friend of mine. She is kind of viewed by our friends as the x rated girl. She was the first to lose her virginity, the first to do drugs, and i think in a way we all envy her. She has a boyfriend, Matt something or other who is twenty two or something like that and a lot of people look down on their relationship. The age difference is the big deal to them. i frnakly dont mind. They ar eboth happy, so who am i to say if they should be together or not. For a hiwle over the summer Caitlin had a problem with crack... as in the drug. I was really mad at ehr because she is a smart girl and shouldnt be meddling into such dirty affairs. She got off of it and i can still tell that she keeps certain things from our friends but if she doesnt want to tell me there is nothing i can do. At the beginning of the shcool year she had a pregnancy scare and i think i was the only one she told. I was supportive and would have helped her if she needed it. Turns out she was just late. Another friend is Tiffany Rogers. Wow. me and tiffany had had a painful ride. We started off as strangers, kind of awkwardly hanging out until we became inseperable. we did everything together and came to the point where at tems we wouuld finish eachothers sentences. She lives iwht her mom and grandparents. Her dad left when she was oyunger and her mother works a lot so her grandparents help out alot. her grandparents never really like me but they didnt mucha like any of her friends. Mer mom is always very nice and upfront. At the beginning of Junior Year tiffany started transforming. Shebegan wearing a lot of make-up and changed form the girl who coudl run barefoot through the mud and rain dancing idiotically with me and laughing at something that wasnt even funny to someone who seemed shallow and callous and boy obsessed. I hated her for a while, but then realized i was hurt. because she left. And it had become routine for my life. Dalton meets person, Dalton gets close to perosn, person leaves. I was upset and the worst part was she didnt even care. she stopped eating lunch with our friends at school and we ewnt from saying goodnight to eachother on the phone every night to never talking at all. i texted her asking how long it would go on between us and whe we could solve the roblem and be friends again and she sent back saying that i was the one with the problem and her life was perfect and the moment and that she didnt want to be my friend again. Thats when it ended. I stopped hating her, i stopped loving her, i stopped even caring about her at all. Someone else i will intorduce to you is Colleen Ryan. Colleen is one of those girls who wears whatever she wants and would rater climb a tree then go to the mall. She is very connected to nature and when your around her you feel calm. It is strange to describe but if you met her you would get what im saying. Another friend is Sarah henry, sarah and I are the onyl blondes out of our group of friends, random fact but we like it. Carter used to have a large crush on the girl but soon got over it. The last perosn oi will let my readers know about is Alex vitiello. Alex is a strange perosn that you can never really feel like you know. HE is large, very tall and wide shouldered. HE dated colleen for a while and they didnt have the best break-up. She was hurt, he was rude. Alex isnt exactly perfect for boyfriend amterial, he is more into the idea of a girlfriend then the act of actually having one. He is know to lie compulsively and has made a new years resolution to stop the Klepto phase he went through. But overall he is a decent perosn. One of his downfalls is that he only likes to do things if he benefits from them. He treats people like shit most of the time but never me because i think he knows that i wont take it and i will say something back that is far worse than anything he could do to me. See i have this curse that within the first like five minutes of meeting someone i can think of at least five insults or oneliners that would be not only be mean but true. Most of the time i keep these to myself but i think i do it for protection. I do it so that if they ever offend me or insult me i will have something to say without having to think about it. Kind of like a retaliation. I am not proud of it but its there. Well reader, i know this is just a stupid blog but it is my way of venting, to you, to the world. just to leave a mark that i am here and to let people know what i think, how i feel, what i experience. Like an imprint of who i am is being left in these words.And somehow that makes it feel more real.