out of time

Apr 13, 2008 - 14:47 PM PST

It's been a while since I had time to sit down and write. Lots of stuff going on.

My aunt passed away two weeks ago. She was my mother's sister. She and I had a somewhat-strained relationship, to say it simply. Still, I was upset about it, and have kind of just shut down from a lot of things for a while - the gym, going out as much, etc. My mom is handling it OK from what I can tell and from what my dad tells me, but my focus has been more on her than on myself. I've gone with her a few times to my aunt's house to sort through things, clean out the fridge and the car, etc. That has gotten a little easier, but at first I felt absolutely sick as I was unpacking food from her fridge into mine.

So as I'm starting to rejoin society again, I signed up for one of the online dating sites. I gave up on my hopes for something else, with someone else, not too long before my aunt died, and so have been able to kind of deal with both at the same time. I know I'm not completely ready to jump into something else serious, but I've also become the kind of person (which is kind of opposite from how I was not too long ago) who's going to sit around waiting. Might as well, right? I went out with a guy last night that seemed promising but turned out to be (what I imagine) like a date with Jerry Seinfeld. Lots of talking and not really by me. I am not a center-of-attention kind of girl but there was definitely a script and I was definitely not in on creating it or moving it along. It was an easy way to try the semi-blind date thing for the first time, at least.

I finally got a jumpstart on redecorating my bathroom. I have been in this place for almost a year and never got around to remodeling the kitchen or the bathroom, but re-did the entire rest of the apartment with new floors, paint, artwork, furniture fabric, etc. Then I ran out of both money and time, so the bathroom was left kind of half-done and the kitchen untouched. And then today I was wandering aimlessly through Target and found a gorgeous shower curtain and some coordinated towels, and voila! They don't match the crappy wallpaper AT ALL so it looks awful right now, but I have a vision!! Now I just need a couple of uninterrupted weekends to get the wallpaper down and some paint up.

Wow, it's really funny how your goals change...what I wanted to do with an uninterrupted weekend five or ten years ago sooooo had fuck-all to do with redecorating a bathroom.