Relationships Affect All Areas of Life

Feb 20, 2008 - 09:43 AM PST

Love and relationships are huge issues for everyone, but especially quarterlifers. Some people hold on to their high school sweethearts from prom to death and learn a lot about relationships along the way. Others fall in love in college and are lucky enough to have that relationship last beyond their quad years. But recently a good majority of people have dated throughout college, their 20's and well into their 30's without finding a long-term relationship. No matter what your situation is, there's a huge difference between being in a relationship and being in a healthy relationship. Let's be honest, the best relationships are hard to find.

Currently, it seems a lot of people are turning to friends with benefits or one night stands to fill a void in their life. Even then it's not very fulfilling. One of the most common threads throughout short-term and long-term relationships seems to be finding someone who reinforces the way we feel about ourselves and this can be a major trap for people who don't have the best view of themselves. Most of us know the externally beautiful guy or girl who constantly dates people who only treat them like crap. Most of the time it's because they see themselves as crap. We're not delving too deep into psychoanalyzing people with that observation, but even with awareness those pitfalls can be difficult to get over. When you're in any of these situations it's hard to feel good about a lot of things you do, as the relationship becomes a constant distraction wearing you down with thoughts and feelings you know you must change.

I find the best way to develop healthy relationships is to first become healthy or start trying to be healthy on your own. If you're in a negative place in your life then you’re more likely to attract negative people. So build yourself up or at least become aware of the issues that can affect relationships in a way you don't want before you start looking for someone. A healthy relationship can lead to you being more productive in all areas of life and keep you growing for a long time. I am not saying they're easy to find or even easy to maintain, but they're a lot better than being stuck with someone who you constantly spend more time thinking about leaving or dealing with the drama then you do enjoying your relationship.

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