the serious horse men

Mar 26, 2008 - 06:42 AM PST

The husbands of the girls I used to hang out with. They show up at these reunions, standing there all stoical and skeptical. They don't back down when you prod them, they give you response, they give you response like the civilians they are. They don't go along with the joke but try and get you to shut up, to settle down, to stifle yourself. Because they are Men, they are serious Men, and they have different histories and they don't understand.

You say to yourself that clearly they must have Qualities, because the girls chose them, after all, but who's to say you ever really knew the girls?

They are serious horse men. Their hair is frozen and shined. One looks like an FBI man, the other a computer programmer. Their weight matches their mates. Never the height, though, because Men are always taller than their women. It's like a doll set.

This is an illusion caused by my non-acceptance of the Men. They are breadwinners, they are there winning bread -- they are humans and all humans are perverted, in some fashion, all humans lie, all humans are freaks, big flag or little. I can take that on faith but when I conceive of them they are not freaks but relentless, terribly, normal.