The universe is in my wallet & The bad guys are frozen

Mar 04, 2008 - 20:15 PM PST

I do not consider myself a superstitious person by any stretch of the imagination. However, My mother is. I always found this funny, so this is a sweet little nugget for your head. I recently quit my boring dead end job, and have devoted my time to do what it is I really want. My mother has informed me that if I write down what it is I want on a peace of paper, and put it in my wallet, I will have thrust my dream out into the universe and it will then and only then become realty. I find this all very interesting because this is not the first wackado notion she had contrived. She is also of the belief of "putting them in the coffee grinds" the theory is this: The people who do you wrong can be scrubbed out by placing their names into the coffee grinds. So this is what I have to deal with when I go visit Mom. First off I have to imagine her taking the old coffee grinds from the morning before, placing them in a Ziploc bag with the doomed recipient's name in it. FYI: this could be anyone, even the person who cut in front of her in line at the ATM, so be careful who you piss off. She will then place her hex on them damning their soul to hell for an eternity as she puts the bag in the freezer.

So just to sum everything up for you. Hell has frozen over and it's location is here on earth in my Mothers Freezer. The universe is very much within your reach; conveniently it is located in your wallet, but still very close to Uranus...