There are times when I run out of things to say to people.

Feb 28, 2008 - 08:27 AM PST

I just sit there and smile.
But not really smile because I am not happy about it anymore.
I guess it could be called a grin,
but it is really more of a wince that I just hold for a long time.

It happens when someone tells me their good news and wants to hug it out.
But I don’t want to hug anyone,
and I don’t want to say congratulations or that’s great because I don’t think it’s great.

It is times like this that makes me want to sell my house in the suburbs
and move to somewhere that no one knows me
so that I don’t have to hear about anymore babies or weddings,

and I don’t want to have to go to a baby or wedding shower or have to plan one
because my suburban house is the only one that fits a lot of people.
I don’t want to go to the hospital to listen the exhausted new mom tell about
how great it was when the baby came out.

I don’t want to know how sick I’ll be when I get pregnant
or how many times I’ll have to go to the doctor
or how early in the morning it’ll be when the baby decides to come.

So when all this information comes,
I’ll just sit and wince for as long as I can hold it.
Maybe one of these times I’ll be able to say something.

Feb. 26, 2008