Thinking About Forever

Apr 28, 2008 - 14:28 PM PST

"It has to be forever."

That was all it took. It was enough for me to reconsider and become unsure of EVERYTHING. I've never thought about forever, at least not anything I'd be committed to. And as much as I want to, I'm so unbelievably scared. FOREVER. That's a long time. And a lot of pressure. Is this really what i want? Do I want to make my life so much more complicated than it could be? Do I want to endure what comes with it? Is it worth it? So many questions fill my mind and I can't commit to any one decision. I'm so unsure of where I stand now. Forever... Ever since the utterance of that word i have no clue what I want. I have one feeling, and then it goes away. How can I commit to forever? This doesn't just concern me. It concerns someone who I absolutely don't want to hurt, and absolutely could if I slip up. Oh, how did I get myself into this?! I don't know what I'm doing. I think I know what I want, but I'm so scared that it makes me unsure. I never expected to be in this situation. Half the time I want nothing more to stay in it and go through with it, the other half, I want to just forget it all happened. But doing that means risking losing what I have. And I don't know if I can go through that. Again... At least I have someone who's in the same boat with me, but at the same time, sometimes it seems it'd be easier if it wasn't the case...

Forever. That's a long time. I wonder if I can make it...