thinking back

Feb 27, 2008 - 13:29 PM PST

When i was a child before either of my siblings were born my mother and I spent all our time together. It wasn't really that good. She drank a lot, well for some of my younger older life. There times though that I had some of the best times and when I got really sick and lost my hearing she was there for me. She was there when I would throw up for hours on end and had so high of fevers that I would have visions. She made me soft boiled eggs and toast because it was all I could keep down and she was there when I woke up from my first surgery. She was a single mom and for most of my life I didn't know why. I mean I had the stories she told me but I have little doubt that they were lies told because either the truth was too haunting for her to retell or because she really didn't want me to be in pain. Either way she was there, the sad thing being that eventually none of it mattered.