what does it mean?

Jan 27, 2008 - 14:21 PM PST

i don't understand being self conscious.... is this who i am? and if it is not, what is the point?
how can i be so afraid that I stop being myself?
i wonder if there is anyone out there who truly doesn't try to hide a fragment of their life.
what am i afraid of?
spiders
needles
clowns
the easter bunny
but how does my fear of needles reciprocate into this? how can i be myself, not being myself?
the easter bunny really does scare me though.
but am i hiding from a pervert in a suit? or am i hiding from myself?
why do i keep asking questions?
is that because i am afraid of answering them?


i am who i am, but to who?
not to myself sometimes, because i am my favourite person to lie to. not to everyone else, because then they will know.
what is the point of having a personality, and a soul; if i only protect it from everything? and if i am self contious, do i really know what the truth is?
what is truth?
and who defines it? liars? or is there someone out there who doesn't lir, who rules the kingdom of truth? as i sit upon my throne of lies.
well i will continue on, because there is no cure. there is not doctor who can find some magic remedy in a shark's brain, so i sit in uncertainty.
for how long?
do you recover?
can i?

i don't even know if i like who i am enough to change?
in fact do i even know who i am?

i think we are strangers.