why am i never good enough?

Mar 18, 2008 - 20:34 PM PST

sitting next to you, close enough to reach out and touch the back of your neck. watching your actions like a little bird perched on your shoulder. i don't think i'll ever understand this. you make me feel inadequate and inferior; worthless in your eyes until a flick of hope changes your mind. awkward seconds hang like hours in the midst of our stares. lost in imagination, our secrets breathe life into my empty body. i am beautiful and intelligent under your touch. more powerful than i've ever felt. the world fails to exist beyond this 10x10 room. i never want to wake up.

snap.

the truth, cold and painful, rushes back like a tidal wave. i'm sitting next to you, close enough to reach out and touch the back of your neck. the fact that i can't just might tear me apart.