wondering

Mar 23, 2008 - 23:12 PM PST

so it's becoming extremely clear that my roommate has an eating disorder. it's getting pretty severe. i'm a psychology major. you'd think i should know what to do. but i don't. i have no clue. i know not to confront her. and i know not to "tell" on her. she knows that i've been down that road before too, but i don't know if that would make her respect me for saying something or just make her deny it even more. thankfully there are people to ask. but it really makes me wonder... am i doing the right thing with my life? if i can't even handle something like this? i mean... this is going to be my job. .. and i have no friggen clue. meanwhile, at the same time that i'm concerned about her, i won't lie - i'm jealous. she's losing so much weight, and part of me wishes i had that insane driving will power back. the kind that makes you eat 400 calories a day. and run until you can't see straight. and do situps until you can't breathe. as sick as it sounds. i think this is what worries me the most about seeing her this way. i know what's ahead for her. even if we intervene and she realizes she's only hurting herself, she'll barely ever think she's attractive. she'll feel guilty when she eats... at least, i do. i just hope we can help her, because it scares me to think of this getting any worse. i'm really wondering if i'm doing the right thing with my life.