You and Your Thinly Veiled Innuendos

Jan 20, 2008 - 23:26 PM PST

What is it about you? I had always thought of you as a simple guy, not exactly an intellect, with an awkward sense of humor that avoided exposing any kind of human emotion except a carefree goofiness that, under normal circumstances, would prevent anyone from taking you seriously. Yet you are soft-spoken and you say only enough and though often your words are probably being said simultaneously somewhere by a three-year-old, they are always poignant and coupled with a conspicuous lack of body movement that makes you appear contemplative. When you aren’t speaking, which is a majority of the time, you sit with a presence. Not one, mind you, that portrays any kind of self-importance but that somehow says both “I’m listening” and “I care” without the normally associated eye contact.

So while I was originally dismissive of you and your deceptively slacker ways, I’ve come to seek your simple presence in a room. But though you’re all at once comforting and reassuring, you’re also entirely indecipherable. I feel as though it’s possible that you are at least somewhat aware of me, and by aware of I mean more than a simple recognition of my existence. I get the sense that your eyes light up when I’m near you and that our matching bemused smiles exist not coincidentally but because we have that simple effect on each other, but it could so easily be that you and I are both lost in you.

The conundrum lies in the fact that should you send a signal of any kind it would defy the foundation of my interest in you. Your vaguely attracted vibe is the most you can provide to maintain my baffling fascination with you. Thus, I am in a position that I cringe to find myself because the risk of a future either awkward, fulfilled, or forever mysterious, lies unequivocally in my hands.

So what’s my move? I certainly can’t approach you directly about it because straightforward is your polar opposite and I can’t imagine my anxiety trying to make sense of your response. I could entice you into conversation that would inevitably be filled with sarcasm and thinly veiled innuendos. I could hold my hand almost uncomfortably close to yours and wait in anticipation of the tension being broken by an interlocking of pinkies, or I could attempt seduction by means of blatant apathy and hope it disturbs you at least slightly to have a pair of adoring eyes removed from your audience.